An Encouraging Future

I usually pretty muchdespise getting emails with FWD: in the subject box, but my grandmother sent me one today that just blessed my soul. I thought I'd share it:

Before long we end the year 2010, with all the problems the world is facing, it can be unsettling to the mind. Today, I will share with you ten predictions that are sure to come true next year!

Top 10 Predictions for 2011

1. The Bible will still have all the answers.

2. Prayer will still be the most powerful thing on Earth..

3. The Holy Spirit will still move.

4. God will still honor the praises of His people.

5. There will still be God-anointed preaching.

6. There will still be singing of praise to God.

7. God will still pour out blessings upon His people.

8. There will still be room at the Cross.

9. Jesus will still love you.

10.Jesus will still save the lost when they come to Him.

Isn't It Great To Remember Who Is Really In Control, and that "the word of the Lord endures forever" ?

Our lives have become so egocentric that we often forget to look past US and past the current problems WE are facing--to see that the King of Kings has control, even in a world that appears more chaotic with each new day. He is and always will be the sovereign power over all creation.

To God be the glory!

Me and My Dog

As the days grow cooler, I find myself thinking back to a Jane Austen novel or little red hearts and white doily-covered cards handed out at a nursing home. We are a long ways off from Valentine's Day yet, but my mind thinks back to romantic things anyway.

I was thinking today (I do that a lot) about why that is, when nothing has triggered these thoughts in the least. I believe I figured it out.

It's the weather's fault.

Cold weather=hot chocolate, a blankie, and a snuggle buddy.
Cold weather=stuck inside, so why not read a good book.
Cold weather=thoughts of gentlemen (something we don't see these days) ripping their coats off to cover the thinly-clad shoulders of the lady they are visiting.
Cold weather makes me think of happy things, like sledding and icicles and frosty grasses and being able to see my breath.

It's all in the temperature, I'm telling ya!

I don't have a man to cover my shoulders with his coat, but I have a dog who likes to sit on them.
I don't have a fella to share a cup of cocoa with, but I have a dog who is more than eager to share my dinner.
I don't have a human cuddle buddy, but let me tell you I have something better--she's a little black and white lhasa apso with more lazy bones in her body than active ones. And she is more than happy to cuddle with me, no matter what I'm doing.
I don't have someone to read stories to me, or listen to me whine, but I have a dog whose eyes say, "everything you say is gold," even if she hasn't a clue what I said.

Stella is a pretty clean pooch, easy clean-up and lots of love.
Cheap, too. She doesn't ask for much--just food and water and a treat every now and then. And maybe a toy.
The benefits package is fabulous.
She loves me no matter if I burn the beans or show my ugly side. Her loyalty surpasses any mortal man.

The Flat Land

On my way to my clinical site on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I pass through a field of flat, brown grasses. It's got a few places where the dirt has been turned up, leaving raw, clay-tinted wounds in the landscape. It's not an image I particularly enjoy.

The rest of my drive out to the great big city of GB is fairly beautiful. From the moment I pull out of my driveway, I find myself in awe of my God's awesome handiwork. The sunrise is just breaking the treeline, birds fly overhead, and the clouds themselves tell the story of the steadfast hand of God Almighty.

It's just that one strip I've always found to be a little less desirable.

But, the past few weeks God has given me an extra-special gift. It's the gift to see that barren land as beauty.

See, the fog hangs over this particular field every morning now that the weather is cooler, just like a white blanket. The road sits high enough above ground that sometimes I can see over the fog cloud, and catch a peek of the breathtaking view of the solid white, fluffy top of the cloud in contrast with the luscious greenery on the edges of the field. It's absolutely amazing. I hope I will remember to take my camera one of these days and snap a picture. One day last week there was no fog and the field was back to its normal, plain flat land shape. As I crested the hill and saw no sign of condensing water molecules, my heart sank.

I've actually started to look forward to this field with its whispy fog--sometimes taking on a cirrus-like form, other times more like stratus layers, and other times the fog bunches up almost "aggressive-like," looking more like cumulus clouds than anything else.

The other day there was no clouds. No fog. No white. Nothing but dead grass and upturned clay-colored dirt. The weather was too warm through the night for fog to form. I drifted  back in mind to how I felt about that stretch of my morning trip for the first month. How much I disliked it 'cause it was ugly. It meant nothing to me, it did nothing for me. It was a dry and barren piece of land, waterless and disgusting.

O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is; To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary. Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee. Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name. (Psalm 63:1-4)

He is our water. My life is a dry and barren wilderness, full of sin and despair, without His life-giving water. He is the Living Water. He is the spotless, white Lamb whose blood was shed to cover my filthy rags. He covers me with His righteousness, to redeem me from my own sinful nature.

What an amazing visual of Him I see represented before me every single day! I like to think that He pulled back the cloak of clouds the other day to remind me of the bondage I've been delivered from through His mercy and grace.

What do you think? Have you seen any visuals/parallels from scripture in your daily lives lately?

They are everywhere--the fingerprints of our Creator linger on every atom of our world.

He knows my name

I'm only hours away from the due date on my exam paper, with a blank, white screen still waiting for responses. But, somehow I cannot bring my fingers to type a defense for the health reform, the boring statistics on speech therapy, or the necessity for medicare. Not that those aren't important topics, they just aren't heartworthy.
Not to me.
And, I feel as if I've neglected some heartworthy blessings in my life lately.
It's all been about work and school and the precious children I have been blessed to know through my clinical practicum.
That is my ministry: clinicals. I knew it from day one. However, I have failed to keep my eyes straight and realize that I've not only been put on those sites, but also in a place called Walmart, and a little place called Ross House, too. Those are also my ministries, though I may have forgotten. My weaknesses shine through most prevalently at those places, because it is there I'm challenged. I'm faced with some tough issues, and I'm faced with my own ugly side.

I really had a desire to post tonight, not to talk about these ministries, but to talk about my Jesus. My personal savior. My God who LOVED me so much He died a horrible death--so I could be with Him. Not only did He suffer for me, though, He also continues daily to walk faithfully by my side, through my struggles and failures.

Has God ever shown you something, tugged your heartstrings over an issue, then reinforced it with a sermon or a friend's words almost immediately? He does it every single week in my life! AMAZING! I'm getting to know my Jesus on a deeper level. He is showing Himself faithful, merciful, graceful, and powerful.

Last week during service, several members of my precious church family came before us in humility to request prayer for weaknesses in their lives that they felt were preventing them from gaining a spirit of unity. As they were pouring out their hearts, condemnation settled on me like a thick dust. I have never in my life been able to recognize the difference in condemnation and conviction; I have a head knowledge definition but the application is so much harder to facilitate. No one was seeking to condemn anyone else. God was in that service, proving Himself mighty. However, the words I heard were echoing in my own head, applying themselves to my OWN heart. Yes, I am failing in this...that...so on and so on...until about halfway through all I could think about was my own failures and frustrations, how I was a hinderance to God's work in this world, and possibly a stumblingblock to my church's growth as a unified family. In my own pride and selfishness, I almost walked out. I didn't want to hear any more of it, not only because I didn't want to deal with it, but because I just did not like feeling that pain.
At the moment when my bottom was rising from my seat to head out the door, a question popped in my head, and I KNOW it wasn't from my own imagination.
It was from God, speaking to my heart.
"Do you not know my Love for you?"

It froze me, to the core. I could not breathe. I could not move.

That may sound silly to you, but in a moment like that, when I was overloaded with condemnation, but was not perceiving it as such, this one question changed my world.

I was sitting there, taking all of the negative feelings that were growing from my friends' struggles, and allowing satan to use his old lies and the excuse, "what's the use? you've failed. God is not pleased with you. Just give up. You'll never make it."

But there is something that can shatter all lies, tear down all strongholds, break the chains of condemnation. That something is LOVE. The unconditional love found in a blood-stained wooden cross, a thorny crown, a body marred beyond recognition.

I know His love. I know what it is, I know what He did to show His love--but I guess that knowledge has never fully transferred to my heart, to apply to ME. Not only does He love me that much, but I am charged to love others as Christ loves me. To forgive as Christ forgave.

God showed me in that one little question that His love is my ultimate tool against the weaknesses in my flesh and the destructive whisperings from the evil one.

What truly amazes me is the speed of his response to my desire to leave. He was RIGHT there. Again, something I know, I KNOW His faithfulness and devotion, but knowing it is focused towards me as well as others is something I haven't yet become aware of. He was with me. He is with me.

He knows my name. He speaks my name.

He loves me. Wow.

A Job Moment

Have you ever felt like you were having a "Job moment"--without the loss of cattle, sheep, pigs and family? Just an lonely feeling as your friends point fingers and a feeling that there is a spiritual battle going on all around you, wearing on your spiritual (and sometimes physical) strength?

...the Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?... 

Well, if you haven't, just try living upright for the Lord with a clean and pure heart. There's bound to be something out there to snag you along the narrow path. Fingers to point your way, condemnation to settle on your name.

Honestly, I hit the roughest patch of this feeling about 2 years ago. In fact, it may've been EXACTLY two years ago because I remember it was around the middle of September when I...

...decided that wearing skirts was not my salvation, God IS.

I had been living a life full of sin, with an unrepentant heart, but outwardly I had the "Pentecostal Look." I knew the right words and the right way to dress, talk, and act to fool everyone. Not that I did it on purpose. I guess the lifestyle had become such a habit. I was a hypocrite, but almost a trapped hypocrite. I didn't want to be, but I didn't know how to get out of it. Secret sins remained hidden. They had just been building, through a rocky marriage that ended abruptly just one year after it began, and they escalated to the point that I was contemplating suicide.

...Satan roams the earth, seeking whom he may devour...

Well, he found me at one of the darkest moments in my life.

But what's amazing is, God never left my side. He's been by my side since I was 11 years old--where I surrendered my life to Him at an altar in a church in Magnolia, Arkansas. I tried to walk away from Him, I separated myself from Him with my sin, but He never forgot me.

And He fought for me. ...the Lord will fight for you...

He nudged my heart, continued to speak to me through the Holy spirit. Even in my sinful state, I had a conscious. I had a voice squeezing my heart every morning as if to say, "Why aren't you talking to me? Where are you going? Please read my Word today--I want to talk to you through it." At random moments during the day, a scripture would just pop into my head. He was trying to draw me back to Him.

I began to recall questions I have asked pastors and friends, and even prayed, for years--things that went unclear from countless sermons and my own bible study. A burning desire grew within me to find answers. To find a surety. To find Truth I could stake my life on. God's word is Truth, it is a sure and steady foundation for answers. This desire lead me to study more than I've ever studied before.

And God showed me. He showed me that I had been living behind a curtain of works-based religion, looking and saying all the right things but with a filthy, godless heart. He showed me that I was among the people who would cry out, but God would deny knowing.

He showed me LOVE, GRACE, MERCY, FORGIVENESS, HOPE, SALVATION.
He showed me FAITH.

Anyways, I meant this post to be about something else, but it has turned into part of my testimony. My long-winded testimony.

Back on topic, I lost all my friends and, it felt like, my closest family (Mamaw and Papaw), when I decided to follow Christ and not man-made religion. Everyone put their finger in my face and told me I was going to hell. Most wouldn't speak with me except to tell me that, or to say I couldn't come around them anymore. It was really hard. I didn't have many friends here, the few I'd had were through my ex-husband and they disappeared with him. I was completely alone, already weakened by circumstances. All I had was my bible and my voice--to lift in prayer. I felt like Job, because he knew he wasn't wrong, but his friends continued to condemn him. Well, I knew I was listening to the Lord and doing what was right, but my friends were completely against me, full of accusations, just like Job's friends.

Things got better over time. I think, I think people who know me see my heart, or more of it than those I don't see often enough. Whatever it is, some of my friends have come around, and my family has, too, for the most part. I do still get a condemning statement here and there. It can be tough when that happens, 'cause I do not like that they are hurting, believing me to be condemned to hell. I wish they had the assurance that I've got.

God is my salvation. He is my Rock. He is my Strength.

Random Humor

I used to think laughter could make anything better...until I had my wisdom teeth removed. Now I realize there are certain times when spreading your lips wide and belting out a few giggles is NOT recommended--like when your face is swollen up like a marshmallow.

Anyways, I was looking for fun sentences for therapy and came across some humorous one-liners that did crackle me up. I thought I'd share a few:

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.


Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

Those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Half the people you know are below average.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Don't sweat petty things....or pet sweaty things.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!

Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Are you giggling yet?

Four teeth lighter...

...and still overweight.

In the meantime, I've discovered a newfound love for chicken broth and tapioca pudding. It goes down smooth on a sore, swollen mouth, helping to keep the calories on and the blood sugar levels up.

Which is a good thing...I think.

Clinical practicum started two weeks ago. I'm already administering therapy with kids at the public school and loving every minute of it. I have an awful lot to learn, though. It's kinda scary going out in the real world and applying all this wealth of information. It's required a great deal of brushing up on topics hidden back on a dusty shelf in my brain, topics that haven't been pulled out since sophomore year.

I have come across precious little ones who just make me burst into tears with their gorgeous little smiles and sweet dispositions, who if aren't helped soon will find themselves pushed back and lost in the cracks of the school system.

They'll be slapped with a diagnosis of hopelessness when there is so much brilliance in their minds.

Language is so very crucial to our success in life. You can know everything under the sun, but without the ability to express what's in that skull, you will get nowhere.

The pressure of knowing these kids' futures may rest heavily on the dedication of the therapists working with them now is very scary. One of my supervisors told me last week that I have to learn not to take my kids home with me. I have to learn to leave work at work.

It is so very hard, though.

I care about these kids. I care about their futures.

I want to know who they are. I want them to be able to share their sweet little minds with the world.

I pray that I can be a help to them.

I'm inadequate in my own ability, but God sent me on this path 5 years ago. He has supplied me the knowledge I thus possess and continues to teach me every day. He continues to bring people in my life who show me the true meaning of friendship--full of kindness and equipped with caring hearts. People who show me Love. Even when I don't deserve it.

These kids are trapped behind their language deficits. They need someone who believes in them, who loves them, who wants to help them succeed.

I just hope I don't worry myself sick in the process, thus rendering myself useless.

I've already worn out my poor little head today! My jaw is so sore. Oh, no wonder--I was supposed to take my pain meds an hour ago.

hmmm....

Today is Wednesday.

As with any "big" day, I found myself wide awake at 3:00 this morning, though I hadn't laid my head on the pillow until two hours before. I just can't sleep when I have something important going on the next day.
I think it is just nerves. Or maybe it's the fear of oversleeping. I dunno. Whatever it is, I do it automatically, like a built-in safety to keep me from messing up the important events in my life.
Sometimes I wish that safety would have shut off, keeping me in a dream state during events I'd rather not have experienced. That, however, is another post for another day.
Today is not that day. Today is Wednesday. Today was my first day on my clinical site.
Today was beautiful.
It started early, and it isn't quite over, but already I have so much to be thankful for.
I am thankful for the late night call from a dear friend from the south, a phone call full of scripture and wisdom and corny jokes. It may've kept me up half the night, causing me to nearly fall asleep in therapy several times, but it was a phone call I wouldn't take back if I had it to do over.
It was an encouragement to me. I just love to hear scripture, to talk about scripture, especially with people who are more learned in it than I am and who love it as much if not more than I do. I love to talk about the Word of God with friends who know its value, cherish its instruction, and long to seek out its truth. And, well, I love a good laugh, too, even if the jokes are a little cheesy.

Last night's post was right on--I walked through those double doors clueless as to what I was entering into. My supervisor knew immediately who I was, probably by the words "I'm so lost and confused" written all over my face. Thankfully, she is a very laidback, experienced clinician with lots of energy and optimism. I think I'll be learning a lot from her.

I met lots of precious kiddos today, faces I will see often over this semester--and faces I hope I never forget in my prayers. So many of them are from broken homes. I constantly heard statements like, "I stayed with my dad this summer" or "I met with my sister who lives with my stepmom the other day" or "My mom got custody of me over the summer so I won't be going back and forth between mom and dad anymore" or "I don't see my dad very much." Can I tell you how much this broke my heart? I don't think I have words for it.
Yes, I'm from a broken home. I realize that is the new common for families, but I guess being a part of a church like Grace that is so focused on family, I have kind of sheltered my heart from this very sad truth. I've come to see how special a bond between parents and their children can be, how wonderful it is for both parents to be together, raising their family side by side, hand in hand--even when it gets tough.
I have put on blinders to the growing number of divorces in our nation, and the impact these separations have on children. God took those blinders off today, making me face the raw pain of seeing these kids and hearing their stories.
God is good like that; He opens our eyes when they need to be opened, and closes wounds when it's time for healing. I'm glad He is in control.

So, my friends, today is Wednesday. Tonight is wet and wacky night at my church. Tomorrow is a new day.

What will it bring?

Clinical Practicum

At 7:30 in the morning you will find me standing outside the double doors of a public elementary school I have never been to before, taking a deep breath, and trying to clear my head.

I will not be 100% awake, nor will I be 100% prepared, for what lies behind those doors.

I am afraid I will not be smart enough to fulfill my duty as a student clinician. I do not believe I will be classy enough to represent my school as a professional student. I do not think I know what I'm getting myself into.

The day has arrived where I will have to spread my wings and fly out into the applicable world, taking all the head knowledge I have, and the books I have yet to cram in, with me.

No more "theoretical clients" or lists of information I'll never see again. No, now it will be a REAL Johnny or Suzie, in need of REAL help.

...and all they've got is me...

I. am. so. very. nervous.

My Week in (Almost) Telegraphic Speech.

Church--touched by testimonies, hurried lunch at Zaxby's, work at walmart, study, classes, study, work on project, shop for scrubs, work at walmart, all day study, breaks drive/look for house, IHOP all-nighter study, Finals overlapped--AHH!, two at once, brain-fried, turn in project, look at houses, facebook, quick nap, church--blessed message, God is good, loving those kiddos, late-night chit chat with Anna at McDonalds, smoothies are yum, cleaning house, look at houses, watch movie ["My Favorite Wife" with Cary Grant], laughed a lot, grabbed chips/salsa with Shay, drove all over Conway with Shay, ripped pants from waist to mid-thigh (not on seam) right before work at walmart, Shay's jacket saved the day, bought way too-big pants, fought them staying up all night at work, organized more notes for clinical binders, went shopping for "professional attire" with Brittany (bought a yellow jacket that I plan to return. I never wear yellow), work at Walmart til 10:30pm, computer hard drive crashed--up til 2 trying to fix it, work at Ross house at 6am, pureed meals, pudding-like drinks, shopping trip to walmart, fun at the flea market, chasing an old fella using a walker all over the place, lots of fun, watch a movie with the fellas at Ross (Dejavu), come home, quick nap, go to work at Walmart, talk to Jerald, phones die...fall asleep.

I had to leave out the details or it would take up a million pages. Very boring week. Very.

The word of God is powerful!

I was going through a stack of papers on my desk today and a little slip of paper fell out with this verse written on it in my handwriting. I do not remember when or why I wrote this out, but just seeing it brought to mind the faces of several friends who are facing some difficult situations right now. Situations that I cannot save them from or even really help them through. But I know a God who can!

"For thou has been a strength to the poor, a strength to the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm, a shadow from the heat, when the blast of the terrible ones is as a storm against the wall." (Isaiah 25:4)

It is late, 4:30 comes early, but I felt an urge to share this. The Lord will fight for us; He is our Father, our Protector, our Friend. And He will never give us more than we can bear.

I don't know where you are at right now, but God does. If I know you, I pray for you and I love you. But God knows everyone, intercedes for everyone, loves everyone.

Remember that He does love you and is with you through the hard times. The poem "Footprints" is one of my favorites. In fact, I like it so much that my bathroom is decorated to it. But that's beside the point. The message of "Footprints" is true--God carries us through our hardest moments.

A Reputation to Uphold...

...as a child of the Most High God.

I've been failing in my stewardship for a long time. I have been a self-centered, proud, self-righteous, complacent, insensitive...brat.

The truth of this is always eating at the back of my conscience, seasoning everything going on in my life with a little bit of lemon juice. Sometimes I have felt as if it is the fallen angel himself, whispering discouraging thoughts into my head, but then again, it's the small voice of instruction, not condemnation, that I hear calling to me. "Kristina, you should think of her hurting heart instead of your own selfish desires...", "Kristina, why are you having such a hard time accepting my love?", "Kristina, I love you, not because of what you DO, but what you believe. You can't do enough to earn my love. I give it freely. Just accept it, Dear." "Kristina, you shouldn't allow this anxiety to overtake you. Trust in me!", "Kristina, why did you just walk past that man sitting there. I wanted to help him through you."

So, all these things, and so many more...messages from my Daddy that I, in my rebellious, selfish heart have ignored. Why do I do that? I hear Him, but then I think I don't. I doubt it, or I don't want to turn from my own goals and objectives to follow it.

Does this mean I am not submitted to Him?

The other night, I was completely lost. I felt so very lonely. And I remember crying out to God, asking Him what was wrong with me that I couldn't hear His voice, His instruction.

And He showed me that I can. I am just choosing not to follow it.

I know that His ways are better than my own.

Conviction has definitely set in, and it's more than just a little bit of lemon juice in a pot of soup. It's a whole gallon of lemonade without the added sugar.

Yes, it tastes terrible, because it is causing me to look at my mistakes. I allowed that gallon to fall into my pot. I allowed all this to go on within me, no matter how subtly the changes occurred. But now, it is not just a gnawing at the back of my mind, it is right in front of my eyes.

God wants me to deal with it. Thank you, Lord, for your discipline. A loving father disciplines his children. You still love me, in spite of my sin!

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You know, I was on facebook a few days ago and saw a comment my mother had made to a friend of hers, a woman I didn't even know:

I don't think I see how others see me. I don't realize that they actually see...good? Because all I can seem to focus on is my bad. This comment touched my heart, coming from my mother. It touched my heart to see this is what is said when I'm not around.

But, then, it also convicts me. I am forever getting lost on the difficult path of Christianity. I see connecting paths that look right, enticing, or easier, and I find myself going in circles or in danger.

I am hoping and trusting in God's grace to help me uphold this royal reputation.

My very special brother

I received an email Saturday night that from my oldest brother.

I am the oldest child in my family, but he is the oldest male. Maybe that's why I've always felt closer to him than everyone else, in spite of the 5-year age gap.

See, here's some background: Chris is the good ol' country boy who always took everything in stride. If I had to describe his personality, I'd say "mellow and sweet." He was as redneck as they come and lived for fishin', fixin' cars, huntin' (the one season he got to go!), and country music. He's just always seemed to "not care" about things--whether it was something as simple as spilled milk or as important as the God of the universe sending His Son to die for our sins. I think he notices, but it doesn't seem to matter to him. I sometimes get this idea that he separates himself from it. Like that is how he copes with things.

He has always treated me like I was a princess (guys could really get some pointers from him; I have no idea where he learned it!): opening doors, waiting on me so I don't have to move an inch, yeah that kinda stuff that could really spoil a girl.

I just love this boy to pieces.

Well, he's not a boy anymore is he? hmmm...I love that man, then. To pieces. Absolute pieces.

I had not heard from Chris since February. After his birthday, he went wild. He got himself mixed up in stuff I would never think possible for him to be involved in. And he went through so many phones that I lost count (and lost numbers). He stopped calling me, and I just completely lost contact. He didn't come around when I went home to visit, either.

You might wonder why I'm telling everyone about my brother. Well, I want to share about this email, in hopes of asking for prayer for him and myself. Chris has gotten himself in trouble. It doesn't look like really bad trouble, but he does have to go to court. I think this has scared him a little. The email he sent me is the longest piece of conversation I've ever had with him. He usually keeps his words to a minimum. He's very quiet, but he is an excellent listener (another reason I probably love him so much!). Anyways, he said he wants to change. He said he's messed up and wants a fresh start, and he knows that I could offer him the support he needs to straighten up his life.

He wants to move up here.

The idea of getting such a long note from him alone brought tears to my eyes, but as I read it, the tears turned into a water faucet and I could barely see the computer screen. He shared more of his own heart than I've ever seen before.

I want to know what is going on in him. I want to help him! And most importantly, if I can't make things right, I know Someone who can!

I would appreciate prayer for him: that God will speak to him and that he will listen, that if he does in deed come up here, that God will provide (as He always does!)--with a job and good, supportive friends, and most importantly that God will do a work in his heart and will shine the Light of the gospel into his heart (yes, this is what my church family has been praying in unity for Mr. Don, but I think it very much applies to any lost soul).

I would also appreciate prayer for myself, that God will give me wisdom on what to do and how to do it and that He will give me the grace to do it! Just when I think I have it all planned out and worked out, God shows me I just don't need to do that because He is the one in control, not me. I need to learn to trust Him. I thought I had this down (haha, already messin' up when I do that!), but with Chris' proposition, I realize I don't. The thoughts of finances, food, shelter, clothes, and transportation has all come to mind. How can I support him when I barely support myself?

Fear has come on me, over trivial things. I know this is not from God, for He tells us in Matthew chapter 6 that He will provide our needs and that we should not take thought for tomorrow because it will take care of itself. He only asks that we seek Him first. The fear I have felt over these basic needs has me upset at my own distrust in my Father's love and provision. It has left me feeling more selfish than ever--to fear bringing my brother into my home because of money? Really?

A very wise friend shared with me on Sunday a concept she and her brother had discussed recently about godly rebuke and the discouragements of satan. God will not tell you you are stupid. He will not condemn you with hateful thoughts. He will use love when He wants to reveal our folly to us. If I feel condemnation, hatred, depression, or belittlement through the thoughts coming towards me about choices I have made (or am making), then it is not from God, but from that old fallen angel.

I know this.

But, I think I forget it too easily.

Please remember Kris and Chris in your prayers. ;)

Guarding your heart is very hard work. No wonder few people do it! I look at people as if they are crazy as they jump from relationship to relationship; they look at me as if I'm the crazy one for not doing the same. In the end, I may be lonely, but at least my heart will still be in one piece--safely tucked away.

If , on some crazy off-chance, I do find the one person God intended me to experience life with--well, then he alone will have my whole heart and will not have to live with the little bit left after many broken relationships.

Okay, this concept would be ideal if I had not the past I have. Considering it, I have chosen not to think of romance being even a possibility for my future. But I stress again and again the beauty of guarding the heart, no matter how difficult it may be, because so many of my friends (and family) find themselves broken time and time again by failed relationships.

You say dating doesn't involve the heart. Well, you tell that to the girl who cries her eyes out when her boyfriend dumps her after a couple of weeks. Tell that to the man who can't sleep because the pretty girl at work refuses to go to dinner with him. Tell that to the woman who can hardly walk straight from the sheer happiness of a first date that went superbly well.

All these things are emotionally-charged, whether it is a broken heart or a happy heart. That piece of your heart is given over to the other person the moment you begin thinking of them as more than a friend, even if a date has not yet taken place.

I'm trying to guard my heart. I can't say I'm perfect, nor can I say I'm even good, at it. But I am trying.

And, honestly, it has made a difference in my life.

So, again I say: you can call me crazy, think me crazy, believe I'm crazy, all you want. I still think I'm right.

Like grandma, like granddaughter. Stubborness, as well as burnt food, runs in the family.

I have a lot to learn about the blogging community. Something I discovered today is that bloggers give awards to other bloggers...and I got one! Here it is:

Here are the guidelines:

1. Thank the person who gave this award to you

2. Copy the award and put it on your blog.

3. List three things which you love about yourself.

4. Post a picture you love.

5. Tag five people you wish to pass this award on to.

Here we go:
1. Thank you, Kat, for giving me an award that I hope I can live up to! I'm also thankful for the others you gave awards to, because out of curiosity I checked a few of their blogs and was greatly blessed!

2. Already done that!

3. This is a toughy. I don't think about that much. Umm, (1)I love my God-given ability to make things out of paper, (2)I love being an aunt, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. (3) I love my cooking.

4. I lost most of my photos when Stella decided to eat my SD card, but out of what remains, I have chosen not one, but THREE pictures I love. I will explain why with each.

Children singing praises to God, quoting scripture, and hearing God's word is one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever witnessed. The photo may not be professional-grade, but the moment captured here is worth more than a million fancy photos.

Brothers and sisters forever! This was last Christmas, we were all together, and it turned out to be one of the happiest holidays I've had in a while. Have I mentioned that I love being a sister?

Like Papaw, like grandson. Aiden was revelling in all the attention. I love this photo most because it has two of the most important males in my life--my papaw and my nephew. I love them both so very much! Aiden was being silly and trying to sing along with the music on his toy, giving Papaw a kick (he is a musician).

5. I don't know many people with blogs, but there are three people I would gladly give an award with a cherry on top because they richly bless me in person as well as through their words! Great blogs, guys!
*drum roll please*
Karen G. at Gott Joy! (What an encouragement and joy it has been to get to know you through your blog! I am amazed at your strength, your love for God, and your joy through all the pain you have faced. )
Kat C. at Living for His Renown (though I would think since you gave it to me, you don't have to redo all the steps. Just so you know, you deserve an extra cherry on top...and extra whipped cream. Thank you for sharing your heart!)
Heather P. Mrs. Southern Bride (You challenge me with your insight , inspire me with your photography and travelling experiences, make me laugh with all your stories, and help keep me from losing weight with all those delicious recipes. So why not add a cherry?)

Horray for Puree!

Mashed foods are not really that exciting. I should know; I care for a gentlemen who has to have everything pureed in order for him to safely swallow. I get to turn that hamburger and french fries into baby food. Yum.

So, when my emergency visit to the dentist ended in a prescription for two 45 minute sessions of muscular and massage therapy per day and a diet of purees, I was not all that thrilled.

I'm doing my best to stick to this strict regiment, but, well, hmmm...I sure wanted to spice up those mashed potatoes I had for lunch! I thought they'd taste a lot better if I added bacon and cheese and made some "twice-baked" mashed taters.

However, I am my grandmother's daughter, and ended up overcooking the pork...just a little bit.

Okay, so maybe it was a lot overcooked. Does anyone like their bacon extra crispy?

Well, perhaps the bacon would have been too chewy, anyway. I ended up throwing some chives, garlic, and parmegan cheese in, and the potatoes didn't taste too shabby. Maybe my taste buds were just motivated by the chocolate pudding with extra-ripened strawberries I could gnaw on. Who knows?

All I know is lunch was pretty good,

in spite of the whole squishy, mushy baby food texture.

So, besides the news that I have TMJ and the muscles in my jaw are tied up in knots (like a charlie horse in my face!), Stella got a very nice hair cut this week. Check out my pretty baby:

She is the most beautiful dog ever. You can say I'm just partial to my own, but I don't buy a minute of that kind of talk.

She is one special pooch!

A day by any other name...

...would still be a day. :)

Even if I called it a hippo. The meaning hasn't changed.

I look at my blog and think, "Man, I wish I had it together like some bloggers out there--with a set topic per post, beautifully-written words that are cohesive and comprehendable." But no, not I. I'm random. I write what is on my mind and heart whenever I have time to sit at the computer. This is more like my journal--giving you a glimpse of the peak of the iceberg that comprises my off-the-wall imaginings.

Is imaginings a word?

Well, today was the first day of Camp Connect, a local camp for children with Aspergers and higher-functioning autism. I spent half the day in class, reviewing for a test in one subject and discovering that I made a B on my first test in the other. 'Twas a typical hippo (*if confused, review the beginnings of this post).

Then came Camp Connect, with the wonderful children and experiences anew to keep me on my toes with a sparkle in my eye. I was thrown into bowling--a sport that is very much enjoyable, but altogether a challenge for clumsy me who has little practice in the field (or should I say, on the lanes). That's okay! In stepped two precious kids that gave me tips and helped me pull my act together by game #2! I don't remember the scores, but I remember their smiles!

Tomorrow's water sports. I think I should bring extra clothes...and maybe a towel.

I actually came to my blog a few minutes ago with the intent of writing about something much deeper than hippo-days, bowling, camps, or school. I dropped in on facebook to see if anyone had tried to contact me there when I saw a feed going off of a friend's status talking about spiritual beliefs and "steps" to salvation. It is a conversation that I myself participated in for many years of my life--oblivious to the true beliefs of those not affiliated with the same denomination as myself at the time. Oblivious to some very important messages God gave us in His word.

Like the entire book of Galations.

Or how about, the entire account of Christ's life, suffering, and death? The true purpose of His being clothed in flesh and brutally murdered?

Or Romans chapter 8?

The message of GRACE is one that so many people do not understand! I don't even know if I fully have a grasp on it--it is so very wonderful, how can it be?!

I spent 21 years of my life trying to fulfill the law--to DO everything I could to be WORTHY. ACCEPTABLE. PLEASING TO GOD. I spent over two decades TRYING to BE saved.

I was a pharisee to the Nth degree.

"For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23, KJV)

The law was fulfilled at the crucifixion. Christ's sufferings made the law of the old testament obsolete, otherwise we'd all still be sacrificing oxen and turtle doves. Well, the Jews would be. I would not even have a chance to be saved. Thank you, Lord, for loving even me!

No one can fulfill all the law perfectly, to be without sin, spotless, holy and acceptable to God because we are all sinners. We cannot DO enough to find salvation. We cannot truly DO anything to be saved. Salvation doesn't come through works, or "steps." Salvation comes by faith. If we realize the desparate situation we are in, that we are sinners one and all and that we NEED a savior, and we call on Christ Jesus, BELIEVING that He will exchange our rotteness for His goodness and that He will give us a cloak of righteousness that we on our own could not obtain, but His blood bought for us through great love and sacrifice--well then, THAT is the way to salvation. No steps required.

Obeying God's commandments helps us to grow in our relationship with Him and helps us to build up treasures in heaven where moth and dust don't corrupt, but does it save us?

I struggle with this area of grace, having been raised in a works-based denomination. The answer I see in scripture is no, no it doesn't save you, it doesn't prove your salvation to others, but instead it is a sign of spiritual growth and maturity as you begin to obey. It is what your relationship with Jesus is builds on, but its foundation is His saving grace!

I would ask that you would pray with me, for me, that I could see people through this light--as on the journey we are all on, at varying stages along that road in their relationship with the Prince. We all have areas we are stronger in than our brothers and sisters, and we all have areas where weakness is slowing down our advancement. I want to be more open to learn from others. I want to stop seeing salvation as being comprised of works and see it more as a gift already in my hands that cannot be more valuable with or without things I can DO. I want to rip the earpiece out of my ear that whispers judgmental comments about others who do share my convictions on all things, because they are no less saved than I am. I want to rip the earpiece out of my other ear that condemns me, telling me that I'm not saved, whenever I find myself in sin or feel discouraged because I'm just not doing or giving enough.

This is a my confession of an area in my life that needs some mending.

Thanks for hearing me out, and I apologize for any run-ons or grammatical errors presented.

Well, now I must go and finish my amazingly long hippo out at work. Work has become a specific challenge at times, and it doesn't seem to be the people really so much. Maybe I'm feeling the spiritual war going on within me in the environment up there, for bickering and backstabbing, idle talk and gossip, discontentment and discouragement are all at play around me. All pressing hard on my heart trying to get in.
And sometimes I let them in. Another confession.
My heart leaves more worn out than me feet, back, and neck. My mind leaves in complete exhaustion, still trying to process everything I've seen and heard, felt and fought internally.

Off I go to Wal-Mart...

Memories lost, memories gained

So, my last post really meant well. It just wasn’t put together well. I did intend to delete it, but haven’t the time to get back on! Not that I would change my message…I would have just explained it better than a few randomly pulled together thoughts.


I have entered this past week with some sadness on the loss of my beloved 4GB SD card. It fell to the floor one night, Stella saw a small rectangular toy, and, alas, the story is finished. I actually nearly destroyed the card slot on my computer, trying to stuff the warped SD marred with teeth marks into its gaping blackness. The card got stuck and would not come out. An hour, several bobby pins, a pair of tweezers, and a cuticle trimmer later the slot was relieved of its burden. That’s when I realized that all 3,000-and-however-many photos were saved on that card—pictures of me, family, and friends from my past 23 years of experiences—were lost…forever.

My only consolation is that I have a hard copy of most of them. I sure would’ve liked to have kept that digital back-up though!

Stella was not punished, as she didn’t know it wasn’t a toy. I left it in her reach, she thought it was tasty. End of story, for real this time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On another note: I am amazed at the people I’ve been blessed to be acquainted with! Talk about good company! God knows who we need and when we need them, but I would have never imagined He’d let a scoundrel like me enjoy the pleasures of such good company! My church family, GBFC, is the BEST group of fellow believers I have ever had the privilege of knowing. They are such an encouragement to me!

My Papaw—He’s my Daddy—is the best. I was very grateful to catch him ready for conversation on Sunday, even if our 15 minutes of dialogue consisted more of low blood pressure and “guacamole salad” than love and emotion. He knows I love him, though I wish to show him more and more as he grows older. One of these days he may not be around to call on. His tender words of delight, love, and pride will not always be there to spur me on through life. I know I have a heavenly Father whose encouragement is enough to get me through anything, but I cannot help but believe that when the time comes for Papaw to unite with our Father, there will be a void in my earthly heart. It is a very painful topic, and one I try not to dwell on too often. Sometimes, though, it is unavoidable, as I see my Papaw’s health and memory failing. He is not the energetic old fellow who attempted to teach me the art of bike-riding at 5 years of age (I did not learn how to ride until I was 10). He’s grown a little older since those days, and my heart has grown a little bit fonder of those arthritic hands and worn out features.

I love him and am so glad for another Father’s day with him. I wish I could’ve spent it actually with that precious man, but will have to settle for a phone conversation.

Grace

For me, today started at 5:00am and is several hours from being over yet.


It has been a day filled with highs and lows, joy and stress, love and hate, pleasure and discomfort.

All in all it has been spectacular.

Isn’t the God of the universe amazing? He makes all things good!

I only had one time the whole day that could have really turned my attitude to the dumps, but as I looked into the face of the bitter lady who was taking out her sorrows on innocent little me, all I could see is, well, God’s love. All over her. HE LOVES HER. Even in her meanness, Jesus loves her. He died for her just as He died for me. I’ve been there—the one discouraging someone else, tearing them down. I know that in those moments, I’m at a low and just want company in my little pit. And so, honestly, I agreed with her every word, and allowed her to tear me up one end and down another, all with a smile on my face—and in my heart.

For anyone who knows me, that just isn’t me.

I always take things to heart, even when I know the offensive statement(s) aren’t truly directed towards me, but are just spoken out of an already hurting heart.

So, when I think about today, I am truly GRATEFUL—with every ounce of my being. God is merciful, and His grace endures forever. Scripture says that where sin abounds, grace abounds MORE. Well, I’m definitely a sinner, but God surrounds me with His grace.

The truth of His Word! His everlasting faithfulness! His unconditional love! AHHH! I feel as if I’m about to burst!

Good vs. Bad Communication

Matthew 12:33-37

33 Either make the tree good, and his fruit good; or else make the tree corrupt, and his fruit corrupt: for the tree is known by his fruit. 34 O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. 35 A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things. 36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. 37 For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.

Words cannot be taken back once they are spoken. I remember as a child chanting an old rhyme to the bullies at school:


“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words can never hurt me,”

all the while crying inside at their cruel statements. The words they spoke have never been forgotten, though the mouths that uttered them have.


I have donated my own share of “idle talk” in the past 23 years, a confession I am not proud to admit. I’ve contributed to gossip, I’ve given in to anger, and I’ve made hasty and inaccurate assumptions. I’ve said things that have discouraged people, upset them, and hurt them.


What is so great about evil speech? What is so attractive about it?


It definitely does not mirror the love of Christ.

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things (Philippians 4:8).”

The mouth speaks what is in the heart, so if I think on the good, then that is what will escape my lips.

It is a simple lesson, yet one I am still learning.

Thank you, Jesus, for not giving up on me!

Taking the Day Off

Today is a school-less and a work-less day for me, so what did I do?

Well, I cleaned house, cooked, read a book, and watched a movie, of course!

Let's see...I cooked on a charcoal grill for the first time in my life today. The meal turned out pretty fabulous, too! I have enough left for lunch tomorrow.

Lamb steak (coated in garlic, basil, and olive oil), grilled veggies and shrimp, and roasted peppers (stuffed with cream cheese, onions, and creole seasoning)

I like cooking on the grill more than I do the stove. I think I'll get quite a bit of use out of it this summer!

I am reading a book called "Created to be his Help Meet" by Debi Pearl. It was a suggested reading for a friend of mine who has been struggling in her marriage. I think it is a wonderful thing to read for all married women who want to learn to be the very best wife and help their husbands reach their fullest potential. It has some difficult things to swallow, at least they were difficult for me, as it has pretty much stepped all over my stubby toes. What I love most about it is it is FULL of scriptural truth and focuses not on ME, not on YOU, but on GOD and His role for the wife.

It may seem odd for me to be reading this. I'm not married, but I have been. And I think I needed this, to learn from my past. God has used this book to instruct me.

I am actually watching the movie as I type this: Disney's The Great Mouse Detective.

I remember loving this movie when I was a kid, but it has been a long time since I saw it. I love detective stories! Someone at the store the other day asked me how old my kids were (because she thought I was getting this movie for my kids). I told her my dog is 1 year old (her birthday was May 31st!) Then I laughed and told her I was actually getting it for myself. I love family movies!

Tonight, I have training for Camp Connect. I'm pretty excited about it!

Until then, I intend to finish my movie, finish my book, and tease my dog with her lamb bone.

I love off days. They are the best!

Joys of forgiving

Forgiveness is so much sweeter than bitterness.

What I am about to share is something I've held within me for several months, afraid of causing strife within my family, but I cannot carry this any longer.

See, all my life I have been a very bitter person. My family is a very bitter family. We hold grudges, for some reason. Like carrying hot coals that continue to sting is sensible or something. I don't know why; I wish I could explain it, reason it, but I just can't. My family are good people, but we just have this flaw.

Well, I've been praying that God will teach me how to love and forgive. Far out idea, huh? He started with healing my hurting heart after my divorce. I don't think it is 100% mended (can the scars ever really fade away since forgetting the past is impossible?), but I can tell you I am much better, and much different, than I was two years ago. Thank you, Jesus, for that! I can actually look my ex-husband in the eyes, without tears or awkwardness, now.It is a weird situation, though, because in a sense when I see him shopping at my workplace, it's like looking at any other customer. There is no attachment, and honestly, he is a stranger with a familiar face is all. I don't know how else to explain that.

Next, he started to mend my heart with my relationship with my grandfather. I think moving out on my own started that process, but the main changes have come in the last two years. Changes that may not be so evident outwards as they are inwards. I know the difference. I am the one who sees, and feels, so differently towards this man who sacrificed his retired life for a brat like me! This man, who lacks patience, but tried so many times to teach me things (like riding a bike and playing a guitar) in spite of that weakness. I have nothing but the utmost respect and love for him now. I feel like God's given me a new set of eyes and a new heart in our relationship of father and daughter.

And now for the part that has been my reason for withholding for so long: the part where I tell all of you that I have forgiven my biological father, by the grace of God.

Like really forgiven him, for everything.

If you don't know the story, that's okay. You don't really need to know the story, just that many people would say that bitterness is justified. But bitterness is NEVER justified, no matter the offense. God has called us to walk in love and mercy, as He has shown love and mercy on us!

I struggled the most with this one, I think. This has been over two decades of bitterness and pain layered deep within my heart.

And I don't think the forgiveness process would have ever even started if it wasn't for something Joe's wife did on facebook that poked a hole in that ever-growing grudge. My ugly side came out so fast, all the bitterness and poisonous words flowed freely to Joe and his wife. Words I had kept in the hardened corners of my heart, and never uttered, came out at full volume. Words I didn't even know were there.

I knew I held a grudge towards my father, but I did not know how bad it was. I had been convicted of my feelings towards him for over a year now, but had not seemed to find victory.

Then, God showed me the ugliest side of me. That's a mirror I don't like looking into, but one that is oh-so-important in spiritual growth!

Lots of prayer and bible study over forgiveness ensued, and slowly layers began peeling away. My father had found me on facebook, and in spite of my bitter words, he was persistent in trying to communicate with me his sincere apologies and regrets over past mistakes. I began to notice the change ocurring within me as every new message from him sparked less and less bitter emotions.

Then, one day, I opened a message and had no bad feelings, no anger, no hurt. In fact, I actually felt a tingle of delight in hearing from him. I wanted to reply with, "Oh, I would like to make up for lost years. I would like to come to know you better," but withheld such raw notions because a twinge of guilt set in.

How would my family, who is also very bitter towards this man, take to me having not only forgiven him, but also having a desire to know him? Would they be angry with me? Or would they interpret it that I thought of them less in wanting to add this man into my life? Would they be offended?

I do still worry of that, because the farthest thing from my mind is to replace my family or think of them less. I just feel that this is not something of my own heart's desire, but something the Lord would have me do. It is a step above forgiveness, perhaps, in that it is an opening of the heart towards the person who wronged me. But I think it is a step the Lord is asking me to take. And with that, I must obey in spite of the tangle it could cause with my family. I only hope that God will help them to work through their own bitterness as He is continuing to work in me. And maybe, this will be a point--like my explosive moment--that proves to be a crisis of belief for them.

Now the title of this post is the joys of forgiving, and here I am rambling on. Let's tie this back to the title with this little praise point: Because of the work God is doing in me, I have now been in contact with a half brother who I have never really met. A brother who was nearly 3 years old when I first heard of his existence. A brother who I've longed to know ever since, but was never given the opportunity. I have been able to see a little into his life, and see that we have things in common. I have found points already to be proud of him, in a way that only a sister can be! And through our communications I have been able to learn more about another half brother who I have not seen since he was 5 (he's now 19).

This correspondence is one I am afraid my family will frown on, (family, please consider the good it is doing me). I love Brandon and Joey, just as I love Chris and Jake. I want to know them, too. I want to be in their lives, and already the few letters passed back and forth have brought so much happiness to me I can't even describe it.

You know, they want to know me, too. How cool is that?!

Ruining the day, saving the day, and Robin Hood

Can you guess which of the above four items nearly ruined my day? How about which one saved the day?

If you guessed the LG Vu cell phone to answer the first question, then you just won...a big virtual high five!

If you guessed the key to answer the second question(obvious answer, right?), well, you just won a third of a virtual high five because Question #2 is a trick question. The key, the sick puppy, and the sonic cup saved my day (in that order). Well, not the cup, but the little bitty red straw you see sticking out of it in the top left hand corner of the picture. That's right, tell the straw thank you.

Now, to explain:

After getting off work at ILS, I called an absolutely amazing person (*A-ap*) to just say "hi." Well, I never can "just say hi" when I call this person, so before I knew it we had talked me all the way home, into my house, out the back door with my pup, and back up the porch steps to the door again. When I went to open the door, I realized the lock had stuck in the lock position again. No big deal, thought I, I'll just whip out my handy-dandy key and open 'er right back up.

Only, no amount of patting or poking myself presented the house key. I had conveniently left it sitting on the kitchen counter, not thinking, as I was in deep conversation with A-ap.

I called my landlord, embarrassed and apologetic for my carelessness, and she came in a jiffy to unlock the front door (hence, the house key saved the day!).

...but, then, to the surprise of us both, even when unlocked the door would only open a couple of inches! What in the world is going on? I thought. As I started to examine the front door, I realized I had, out of habit, locked the chain lock across the top. My landlord and I both tried all we could to open the door, but the chain lock wasn't budging and all the tools we used (including our hands) either were too bulky or too short to unlock the door. As I continued the struggle in the front, my landlord went around to the back door with a screwdriver and tried to break into the back door.

I was starting to feel safe about this point. Seriously, if two girls with tools couldn't get in, then my little ego decided nobody could. My landlord left in frustration to go find some wire cutters to just cut the chain lock.

Stella threw up on the porch. Her allergies have really been acting up lately, and I'm sure the heat from being outside so long was getting to her. I wanted to clean up her mess and remembered I had a bag of trash in my car which contained unused napkins. I got the trashbag (thankfully, my car was unlocked). Inside the bag was a Sonic cup similar to the one in the picture above, containing a red straw just like the one in the photograph above. (hence, my sick puppy, Stella, saved the day). You may ask how. Don't worry, I'll explain it with many words, as is my way:

Seeing the simple and elegant red straw in the Sonic cup sparked an idea in this little brain of mine. That straw is long. That straw is skinny. I could push that chain out of its lock with this little guy. He can even be smushed in the door and I could still push on him to undo the chain!.

What happened next was something that doesn't happen too often: What I thought was actually right! (Hence, the straw saved the day).

So, what I thought was an invicible wall of metal and sheetrock turned out to be foolproof but not strawproof.

Thank you, Straw. You did a great job.

----------------------------------------------------------------

I started my new job with ILS today and LOVED it! The only thing not so great about the experience was the movie the guys picked out to go watch: Robin Hood. I am ashamed to admit I even watched that movie. There would be no movie left if you took out the violence. Oh, except for the nude scene, yeah, that'd still be there. In that case, give me 3 hours of violence and take out the nude scene that really does nothing to further the plot. Oh, did I say plot? I don't think there was one of those, either.

Let's just say I was thoroughly dissappointed, ashamed, and embarrassed to watch something like that with my client and others from his facility. I only pray they were asleep during most of it (it seemed as if they were).

Otherwise, I enjoyed my experience to the fullest and cannot wait until next Saturday!

Robert H. Williams

He was a good man, one of Wal-mart's best customers. He truly did live life to its fullest! In fact, at 79, he was out wife-hunting and in the process of writing an autobiography. I spent hours with him, as he poured out his story--one that proved full of life and adventure. His experiences were so very important to him and he wanted to share them with everyone. I hate that I did not know he was dying. He was spry and healthy the last time I saw him! My heart and prayers go out to your family, Mr. Bob! I think now you may be much happier to be with your wife and son. God bless you!

Robert H. Williams

March 16, 1931 - May 23, 2010

Robert H. Williams, age 79 died May 23rd at Arkansas Hospice in Little Rock . He was born at Benton, Arkansas March 16, 1931 the first son of Henry Pascal Williams and Maurine (Slaughter) Williams.

He was a 1949 graduate of Bauxite High School, and studied at Spartan School of Aviation in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He worked as an aircraft instrument technician first for the US Navy and then for the Boeing Company. Later he owned his own instrument overhaul shop at Miami International Airport. He married Marge Clifford, a widow with three children. Bob and Marge sold their aircraft instrument business and bought some rental cottages and operated a charter fishing business on Little Torch Key near Key West, Florida.

Robert was an achrondoplastic dwarf, but lived life to the fullest. He was always optimistic and enthusiastic and never let his physical condition slow him down. He was preceded in death by both of his parents, his wife Marge, his brother James Malcolm (Linda), and his sister Ann Wilson (Jim).

He is survived by his step mother Kathleen Williams of Austin, TX, his brother Carroll (Mary Lee) of Conway, Arkansas and John (Vera) of Austin, Texas, and by three step children Fred Clifford of Houston, TX, Mary Enberg of Hernando, FL, and Edye Fuis of Las Vegas, NV, and by a nephew Garrett Williams of Corpus Christi, TX, and a niece Kayte Williams of Austin, Tx.

Cremation will be followed by a public memorial service to held sometime in early June in Conway followed by a private spreading of his ashes on Mt. Petit Jean.

Bob desired that in lieu of flowers, anyone wishing to make a memorial gift please consider Arkansas Children’s Hospital, 800 Marshall Street, Little Rock, Arkansas 72202.

Arrangements are entrusted to Roller-McNutt Funeral Home, Conway. 501-327-7727.

"Point"ing out

Point 1> I am really enjoying being a customer service manager for Wal-mart, believe it or not. I was afraid I would be overwhelmed, but God has blessed me. I couldn't do it without Him!

Point 2> I just filled out the paperwork for my new job yesterday. I'm hoping to start Saturday. I'll be a community skills trainer for an adult man with special needs. I cannot express how excited I am about it!

Point 3> I'm trying to get my foot in the door to volunteer at Camp Connect, a local one-week camp for children with autism spectrum disorders. I have turned in my application and all is well through my communications with the administrator. They seem excited to have me on board, though I don't think their enthusiasm can even compare to my own!

Point 4> Stella looks mangier than ever. I have her nearly shaved bald in places, all but one leg is skinny, but I have yet to touch her head or tail. Therefore, she is a poofball with eyes, a stick body, stick legs, and a poofball backside! Like two pom poms on a bar. I'm sure it is stylish and adorable...somewhere.

Point 5> My car is in the shop under repair. I am trapped at home! I'm unsure what is in store for me tomorrow (I have to be at work in the morning), but God has provided transportation thus far. Shortly, I will have a sparkly clean and pretty car--without a dent.

Point 6> I'm trying to lose weight. Five pounds so far this week. It's not coming off as fast as it did my last attempt. :(

Point 7> I reinstated my facebook account due to missed game nights. Everyone forgot I no longer had facebook, so they only invited via the internet profiling site. I guess I need to keep up with the times.

Point 8> The closest I've ever come to a country other than the U.S.: I just drank a glass of apple juice made from apples in the USA, Argentina, China, and Poland.

Point 9> Anna and I baked cookies and bought tennis shoes yesterday. I had a lot of fun with her; she is a special young woman who I am blessed to call friend!

Snickerdoodlemen are much tastier than Snowmen. Trust me.

Point 10> I am facing some things right now that I need to overcome, but I cannot do it alone. It is hard for me to ask for help. I don't want to bother others, and I feel like my problems are so small--too small to bring before the Lord. That isn't true, though, and I know it. My independent spirit has not been broken yet, and that is the first step to victory. I need Jesus to help me. This is a lot more serious than my other random "points," and perhaps that is why it is last. Your prayers are coveted.