A day by any other name...

...would still be a day. :)

Even if I called it a hippo. The meaning hasn't changed.

I look at my blog and think, "Man, I wish I had it together like some bloggers out there--with a set topic per post, beautifully-written words that are cohesive and comprehendable." But no, not I. I'm random. I write what is on my mind and heart whenever I have time to sit at the computer. This is more like my journal--giving you a glimpse of the peak of the iceberg that comprises my off-the-wall imaginings.

Is imaginings a word?

Well, today was the first day of Camp Connect, a local camp for children with Aspergers and higher-functioning autism. I spent half the day in class, reviewing for a test in one subject and discovering that I made a B on my first test in the other. 'Twas a typical hippo (*if confused, review the beginnings of this post).

Then came Camp Connect, with the wonderful children and experiences anew to keep me on my toes with a sparkle in my eye. I was thrown into bowling--a sport that is very much enjoyable, but altogether a challenge for clumsy me who has little practice in the field (or should I say, on the lanes). That's okay! In stepped two precious kids that gave me tips and helped me pull my act together by game #2! I don't remember the scores, but I remember their smiles!

Tomorrow's water sports. I think I should bring extra clothes...and maybe a towel.

I actually came to my blog a few minutes ago with the intent of writing about something much deeper than hippo-days, bowling, camps, or school. I dropped in on facebook to see if anyone had tried to contact me there when I saw a feed going off of a friend's status talking about spiritual beliefs and "steps" to salvation. It is a conversation that I myself participated in for many years of my life--oblivious to the true beliefs of those not affiliated with the same denomination as myself at the time. Oblivious to some very important messages God gave us in His word.

Like the entire book of Galations.

Or how about, the entire account of Christ's life, suffering, and death? The true purpose of His being clothed in flesh and brutally murdered?

Or Romans chapter 8?

The message of GRACE is one that so many people do not understand! I don't even know if I fully have a grasp on it--it is so very wonderful, how can it be?!

I spent 21 years of my life trying to fulfill the law--to DO everything I could to be WORTHY. ACCEPTABLE. PLEASING TO GOD. I spent over two decades TRYING to BE saved.

I was a pharisee to the Nth degree.

"For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23, KJV)

The law was fulfilled at the crucifixion. Christ's sufferings made the law of the old testament obsolete, otherwise we'd all still be sacrificing oxen and turtle doves. Well, the Jews would be. I would not even have a chance to be saved. Thank you, Lord, for loving even me!

No one can fulfill all the law perfectly, to be without sin, spotless, holy and acceptable to God because we are all sinners. We cannot DO enough to find salvation. We cannot truly DO anything to be saved. Salvation doesn't come through works, or "steps." Salvation comes by faith. If we realize the desparate situation we are in, that we are sinners one and all and that we NEED a savior, and we call on Christ Jesus, BELIEVING that He will exchange our rotteness for His goodness and that He will give us a cloak of righteousness that we on our own could not obtain, but His blood bought for us through great love and sacrifice--well then, THAT is the way to salvation. No steps required.

Obeying God's commandments helps us to grow in our relationship with Him and helps us to build up treasures in heaven where moth and dust don't corrupt, but does it save us?

I struggle with this area of grace, having been raised in a works-based denomination. The answer I see in scripture is no, no it doesn't save you, it doesn't prove your salvation to others, but instead it is a sign of spiritual growth and maturity as you begin to obey. It is what your relationship with Jesus is builds on, but its foundation is His saving grace!

I would ask that you would pray with me, for me, that I could see people through this light--as on the journey we are all on, at varying stages along that road in their relationship with the Prince. We all have areas we are stronger in than our brothers and sisters, and we all have areas where weakness is slowing down our advancement. I want to be more open to learn from others. I want to stop seeing salvation as being comprised of works and see it more as a gift already in my hands that cannot be more valuable with or without things I can DO. I want to rip the earpiece out of my ear that whispers judgmental comments about others who do share my convictions on all things, because they are no less saved than I am. I want to rip the earpiece out of my other ear that condemns me, telling me that I'm not saved, whenever I find myself in sin or feel discouraged because I'm just not doing or giving enough.

This is a my confession of an area in my life that needs some mending.

Thanks for hearing me out, and I apologize for any run-ons or grammatical errors presented.

Well, now I must go and finish my amazingly long hippo out at work. Work has become a specific challenge at times, and it doesn't seem to be the people really so much. Maybe I'm feeling the spiritual war going on within me in the environment up there, for bickering and backstabbing, idle talk and gossip, discontentment and discouragement are all at play around me. All pressing hard on my heart trying to get in.
And sometimes I let them in. Another confession.
My heart leaves more worn out than me feet, back, and neck. My mind leaves in complete exhaustion, still trying to process everything I've seen and heard, felt and fought internally.

Off I go to Wal-Mart...