Friday, May 20, 2011

Math Teacher Under Arrest

Got this email a couple of years ago from a friend who is now deceased. It cracked me up then and continues to bring a smile to my face as I read it now. Thought I'd share it (and store it) here for memory's sake.

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, 'If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.' White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.

It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physics will follow----

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Fleamarkets and Kiddos

Today I found myself enjoying the day browsing fleamarkets with my *absolutely wonderful* friend, Heather. I brought home a stack of goodies: two board games, three kids' books, a set of Spanish/English puzzle cards, and a set of 12 neat little Christmas ornaments depicting the names of Christ. She got a set of 12 (or 16?) drinking jars and a couple of kids' books. What incredible finds! I love fleamarkets!

Speaking of kids (What? I mentioned kids' books, didn't I?), we had our AWANA awards ceremony tonight. I cannot put into words exactly how I felt when those sweet little angels from my group, the Green team, went up to receive their awards. It was something like a sense of pride and overflowing love, joy at knowing the eternal effects this program will have on some of these kids, and humility because of two things: one, God worked through inadequate me this semester to bless these kids and two, it took the dedication of parents and the determination of these kids to get them to where they are--my role as a leader had little to do with their progress throughout the year.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Helping Little Bubz

Yes, I call my brothers "bubz."

And yes, I did help my brother with a school project today. Wanna see?
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Here's the two of us...exhausted (after putting nearly six hours into the project)!


It's a...longhouse, home of the Iroquois (a native American tribe).


Like the bamboo "corn"? Yeah, it's kind of tall in proportion to the little plastic Indians, but the bigger the better, right?

Of course, the little bubz had to add some mean settlers to fight these peaceful redskins. That's just what boys do!

I'm back home visiting for the week and am having SO MUCH fun! (Except for the weeding Mamaw's yard in the heat, but, hey, it was worth it to see her smile. I'm glad I could help her out).

Thank you, Lord for:
76. Good pizza with great, old friends
77. Quality time with my youngest brother, discovering what a truly amazing young fellow he is becoming
78. Helping me to find humor in a bitter, old man and love him all the more in spite of his shortcomings
79. Safety on my trip to the south.
80. A phone call from a speech therapy company that almost seems too good to be true.
81. The opportunity to get to know the man my mother married and realize mom's in good hands.
82. My mamaw's sweet smile...and wonderful backrubs!
83. Beautiful weather (and company!) at lunchtime on Mother's Day with other friends who didn't have their mothers nearby for the special day
84. "Stump", the first real English bulldog I've ever met. What strange creatures You have made! This one brings smiles, giggles, and light-hearted fun!
85. Air conditioning! How did people ever survive Arkansas' heat without AC?!

(This post was originally posted on Wednesday, May 11th, but for some reason it is saying it posted on May 17th).