Real Friends...

...Challenge you to draw closer in your own relationship with the King of kings.
...Support you in their thoughts and prayers.
...Bring their bible, some oreos, and a gallon of milk over when you're in need of encouragement.
...Tell you there's spinach stuck in your teeth so you don't make a fool of yourself in front of strangers.
...Know all your flaws and still want to spend time with you.
...Don't hesitate to tell you when you 've messed up--and are there by your side to help you make it right.
...Don't sugar coat truth.
...Laugh with you when you do something dumb to help make light of it, which, at least to me, eases the embarrassment a little bit.
...Calls or sends you a text every now and then just to say "hi." It really means a lot, you know.

I have some of the bestest friends in the world.

Thank you, Lord, for continuing to show me daily the little blessings all around me, including the wonderful people I call "friends."

"Outside Looking In"

It was the name of a sketch assignment for art class back in high school. I distinctly remember the picture I drew. In fact, I'm sure I still have it, stashed away in an old binder somewhere on my bookshelf. Yes, I am a professed packrat.

The eye of a girl looking through a crack in the wall...searching for something lost...her eye curiously caught staring at a crumpled piece of paper lying in the shadows among the dust...and all this merely centimeters away from a deadly spider...

No, it wasn't really a good piece of art for that kind of thing is not a gift bestowed on the likes of me. But it was real. It was how I felt then, a feeling I still stuggle with now. A feeling of being seen as something I'm not--and the fear of being something I don't want to be. For, the paper represents who I truly am. The message is crumpled, torn, beaten, bruised, and thrown into a secret place where it longs to stay hidden forever. The spider, well, he represents the fear of consequences, of knowing, of being found. And there I am watching myself defeated in fear, isolated from all things good and pure and holy.

That's what fear does best. Separate. Divide. Isolate.

"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; in whom should I be afraid?" Ps 27:1

Lord, help me to trust you with all things. Continue to reveal my weakenesses, but give me the wisdom and the grace to grow through them into the vessel You choose to use. Give me strength to stand wide awake to my sin and depend totally on you for cleansing, victorious power over it. Remind my heart, not just my head, that you are the only Forgiver of Sin. Purge me with hyssop, that I shall be clean; wash me that I may be whiter than snow. Thank you for the rod of discipline and the looking glass that reveals my sinful nature. Don't let me forget who I am so that I will strive to become more like you. You are worthy, Amen.

Lazy Day

My little canine is passed out on the couch looking oh-so-cute, and I took a 4 hour nap today myself.

It's my day of rest. I think I'm entitled to one every now and then.

I went yard-saling with Heather and Josh this morning. I actually stayed at their house so we could leave bright and early. Oh, and so Stella could spend some time with her love, Mr. Darcy. There's nothing like going from house-to-house looking at other people's junk. We did find some good deals today (mostly books). The last one we went to was a gold mine of great stuff, but sadly everything had "sold" stickers attached. We were too late to get the goodies.

There is a lot going on right now. I feel overloaded emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Good and bad all mixed together. I have this very strange feeling that I can only describe as a desire to duck in a hole and hide out for a while. I think it's the lazy side of me wanting to just let everything work itself out., or maybe it's the ostrich in me who feels too inadequate to stand up to the scary stuff, so I wanna stick my head in a hole and hope nothing finds me.

But I am not called to sit on the sidelines with my mouth shut and my eyes closed. I am called to take a stand for what is right, holy, and just. I am called to go to work every day and be the hands of God in the lives of the precious people there. I am called not to depend on the insecurity of a small, dark hiding place but to lean on the strength of Jesus Christ, who came, lived, died, and conquered the grave.

So, today I rest, trusting in Jesus to work everything out. Trusting in Jesus for the wisdom and grace to stand tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that...