What's going to happen?

I sure wonder what the next few months hold. I try to focus on the here-and-now, but sometimes I just can't help but think about it. I feel like I'm speeding down a road with a blindfold on, knowing there's going to be a sharp turn or drop off somewhere up ahead, but I'm not sure where it is and I cannot see where I'm going in order to avoid it. That's the anxiety side of me kicking in, I think.

A friend told me the other day that I was going interview-happy because I've had one nearly every week since May. Yeah, I guess I am, but I'm doing it because I'm clueless about what's going to happen come August 15th, and I don't want to leave any doors unclosed.

My preference is to stay around here and find a job working with anyone from 0-115 years of age.
I just don't want to leave the people I've grown to love here! Then I feel guilty because I love my family very much, but I don't really want to move closer to where they are. My reasons aren't because I wouldn't like to have them nearby, but because the southern part of this state is just...lifeless and draining. I don't know how else to describe it. Drive through sometime and see for yourself. It's in the atmosphere or something.

I feel like a little, helpless girl right now--looking to Dad for answers but not understanding the reply. I sure hope His will would be revealed soon. Graduation is one month away.
I wonder what's going to happen after that...

Legalism

I've had my toes stepped on quite a few times since I began to realize what legalism truly is and that my life revolved around it--not God. I've had my heart ripped out, put through the fire, and scrubbed but it still doesn't shine like gold. God is still tearing this chain away, after all this time. Of course it wouldn't take so long if I would just let Him have it, but sometimes it's so hard to just let go and believe. It's like I think doing things the "right way" will make me "more saved." Completely unbiblical concept, I know!

Today, I was extremely blessed by a xanga blog I've been following for a few years. She often blesses me with what she's learned through her experiences, but today's hits at a spot in me I feel like sharing with my friends. Today, like many other times in the past, she talks about legalism.  I love how Resolved2Worship writes about topics. She makes you think. She points it back to Christ. Like everyone else, she's imperfect, but she shares how God is working in her life through her imperfections. And how He is working some of those imperfections out of her, smoothing the sand grain into a pearl.

If you struggle with legalism, stop turning to your self and turn to God. I don't have all the answers; I'm still learning. God, however, knows all the answers and will reveal them to you when you seek Him. If you are on this same path I have found myself, I recommend checking out Mrs. Alyssa's xanga for encouragement and thought-provoking questions. Her blog sends me to my bible with burning questions and a desire to draw closer to Jesus.

I like that. I like that in the materials I read and in the relationships I form in my day-to-day life.
Does it point me back to the One worthy of all glory, honor, and praise? That's another rabbit trail for another day, though.

After all my adventures...

...I have no photos to show for it!

I took my camera, but didn't get any snapshots. I'm sorry!

The past week has been extremely fun--and energy-zapping--all wrapped in one package. Swimming, board games, quality time, laughter, pranks, good food, bonding, reunions, watching videos, being in charge (of classes), planning surprises, trips alone to nowhere for no purpose, daydreaming, book-reading, job interviews, clothes shopping, grocery shopping, free stuff...the list goes on.

One really neat thing that's happened recently is: I haven't bitten my fingernails in two weeks! (My grandma would be proud of me as long as I didn't tell her how I've managed to keep away from my old habit). I've discovered that painting my nails in a COLOR keeps me from biting them. I used to paint them clear, but I'd bite off the polish out of habit. When you bite off colored polish, it leaves the nail looking very ugly. It kind of serves as a visual to me which has proven constant and effective.

I cannot tell you how excited I am about this!