Lazy Day

My little canine is passed out on the couch looking oh-so-cute, and I took a 4 hour nap today myself.

It's my day of rest. I think I'm entitled to one every now and then.

I went yard-saling with Heather and Josh this morning. I actually stayed at their house so we could leave bright and early. Oh, and so Stella could spend some time with her love, Mr. Darcy. There's nothing like going from house-to-house looking at other people's junk. We did find some good deals today (mostly books). The last one we went to was a gold mine of great stuff, but sadly everything had "sold" stickers attached. We were too late to get the goodies.

There is a lot going on right now. I feel overloaded emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Good and bad all mixed together. I have this very strange feeling that I can only describe as a desire to duck in a hole and hide out for a while. I think it's the lazy side of me wanting to just let everything work itself out., or maybe it's the ostrich in me who feels too inadequate to stand up to the scary stuff, so I wanna stick my head in a hole and hope nothing finds me.

But I am not called to sit on the sidelines with my mouth shut and my eyes closed. I am called to take a stand for what is right, holy, and just. I am called to go to work every day and be the hands of God in the lives of the precious people there. I am called not to depend on the insecurity of a small, dark hiding place but to lean on the strength of Jesus Christ, who came, lived, died, and conquered the grave.

So, today I rest, trusting in Jesus to work everything out. Trusting in Jesus for the wisdom and grace to stand tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that...

God of the Little Things

Isn't it amazing to try to wrap your mind around the truth that God is so big that He made a universe millions of lightyears wide but can carry it in the palm of His hand--yet He cares about the little details in day-to-day life.

For each and every one of us.

Today was my "Little Blessings Day," so I shall call it. The Lord showed me through the little things that He cares and He wants to leave fingerprints of His glory all over my life. Even in those mundane, routine things like driving down the road, eating breakfast, or locating clients.

God is just good like that.

Stop and look around. See where He is leaving fingerprints in your own life. Take note.

Don't ever forget He is the God of the BIG things and the little things.

* Having good productivity today.
* Giving me time to get some paperwork done.
* Showing me moments where patience was being worked in me--and finding that it wasn't so hard when I let His grace work.
* A sweet co-worker picking up my favorite, sweet tea, when she didn't have to.
* Texts from precious friends encouraging me throughout the day.
* A calm assurance that everything was under control.
* Smiles and jokes from nurses who I never thought liked me just to serve as a reminder that relationships are forming.
* Sweet hugs and communication with very important people (my clients).
* A free bottle of water.
* A cool breeze blowing up just as 10 of us awaited the rest of the gang outside in the parking lot.
* Previously stated cool breeze remaining for the rest of the evening, with no rain, providing the perfect set-up for curb-side frozen yogurt with 13 friends!
* Stella begging to sit in my lap. Realizing that she has learned my body language...so words aren't even necessary.
* Safety on the road.
* Very little lapse between clients--no MIAs!
* Good attitudes and wisdom on how to redirect when folks weren't so nice.
* Reminders everywhere of the one true God who loves His creation!

Is that tears or sweat bringing water to my eyes?

The cause still remains unknown.

I spent a few hours out at Central Arkansas Youth Camp today. Brushed a girl's eyebrows with a fork and tried to make a guy laugh by attempting to sell him rocks to stick up his nose to protect him from the mosquitoes. I even made a girl sniff a stick and tickled another with a leaf.

That's just how I do things when I'm a Bounty Hunter playing the game "Underground Railroad."

My job was to make folks laugh, so my random side went nuts. I practiced my terrible accent collection--from Cogney-English, to Irish, Spanish, and even some Middle-Eastern sounds thrown in there. It was fun, but sadly, even my best stuff only brought smiles to those faces. They were a tought crowd to break!

The place was teaming with sweaty, smelly kids--and adults--but no one seemed to mind. I fit right in. That's why I still don't know if my eyes were blurry because of sweat or tears. You see, though the music didn't move me [Amazing Grace has a lot more meaning to me than these fancy contemporary Christian songs], the message did. It always does. So I know there were some tears thrown in there with the salty concoction oozing from my pores. My tear ducts hated to be left out.

"A Different Kind of Love." That's this year's theme. That was tonight's message. I pray that it sinks in, grasps those troubled hearts, wraps around their very souls, and never lets them go. I pray it transforms them, changes their lives, breaks the bondage of the past, and opens doors to the future for these children and teens who've never known the unconditional love of Christ.

What a blessing it was. I will be there tomorrow night. And the next. Oh, and the next after that, too!

Legalism

I've had my toes stepped on quite a few times since I began to realize what legalism truly is and that my life revolved around it--not God. I've had my heart ripped out, put through the fire, and scrubbed but it still doesn't shine like gold. God is still tearing this chain away, after all this time. Of course it wouldn't take so long if I would just let Him have it, but sometimes it's so hard to just let go and believe. It's like I think doing things the "right way" will make me "more saved." Completely unbiblical concept, I know!

Today, I was extremely blessed by a xanga blog I've been following for a few years. She often blesses me with what she's learned through her experiences, but today's hits at a spot in me I feel like sharing with my friends. Today, like many other times in the past, she talks about legalism.  I love how Resolved2Worship writes about topics. She makes you think. She points it back to Christ. Like everyone else, she's imperfect, but she shares how God is working in her life through her imperfections. And how He is working some of those imperfections out of her, smoothing the sand grain into a pearl.

If you struggle with legalism, stop turning to your self and turn to God. I don't have all the answers; I'm still learning. God, however, knows all the answers and will reveal them to you when you seek Him. If you are on this same path I have found myself, I recommend checking out Mrs. Alyssa's xanga for encouragement and thought-provoking questions. Her blog sends me to my bible with burning questions and a desire to draw closer to Jesus.

I like that. I like that in the materials I read and in the relationships I form in my day-to-day life.
Does it point me back to the One worthy of all glory, honor, and praise? That's another rabbit trail for another day, though.

Choices! Choices! Choices!

Have you ever felt just a little overwhelmed?
Mr. P, one of our leaders in Sunday School class, mentioned one time that when he was moving he asked the Lord to only give him two choices of places to live because he couldn't handle any more. I feel that way right now with job offers. I've only had one possibility (not yet an offer) that just really stands out as something great, but I have so many offers--some folks seem desparate to grab me--but every position I've been offered requires me to move or commute a good ways.
What's so special about me? Why do people seem to want me so bad? And why can nothing come open here? Is that a way of God saying He wants me to move?

I have this wish in the back of my head all the time...a wish that I could hear an audible voice from heaven directing ever decision I have to make. Wouldn't that make it so much easier? I want to be in His perfect will, so what do I do? With all these folks coming at me, I don't know what to choose.

I wanna do what's right. I've tried to take control too many times--and messed it all up. I have a very big choice to make, one that will effect my life greatly. I'm just praying for wisdom and for everything to fall into place like God always does whenever I become anxious. He's just awesome like that!

Oh, and after all that seriousness, my friend Heather over at www.MrsSouthernBride.com has a giveaway going on until July 1st. You have a chance to win some pretty cool stuff  on her blog here. Check it out; you most definitely will not be disappointed!

New Hair and Other Going-Ons

Going-Ons: new word for "what's happenin'."

Yesterday, I had 10 inches of hair gracefully removed from my head. The results are presented in the photos below:

 

Oh, except right now my hair is poofy with lots of little curls all around my face, kinda like Shirley Temple, just not quite so short. That's what happens to curly-headed folks when they get their hair wet.

Anyways, last night was a once-a-month opportunity that I did not pass up: a chance to visit with dear college/career-aged friends and enjoy a bible study together at the Williamson's place. We kind of focused on realizing that things happen, not because we've been good or bad, but because we live in this world, and we should never forget that God can take anything and turn it for good. We also need to keep in mind that the good may not be visible on this side of heaven, but the reward on the other side will be eternally worth it. The testimonies, discussion, and scripture really blessed my soul. This seems to tie in with some sermons and discussions we've had at church lately.

Isn't it neat how God works?

He knows I sometimes need to hear things several times before it really sinks in, and so He always provides those multiple learning experiences for me. Sometimes it's more than just a lesson--it's the hard stuff. I'm glad He doesn't give up on me!

Today has been a long day. I went to Ross House at 6:00 this morning to cook breakfast and get the guys going for the day, then I left work to head out to Vilonia for a work day at a widow's home. I think she suffered some tornado damage from the April 11th tornado, but was more fortunate than some. I'm very grateful for my friend, Ann, who set up the workday. What a blessing it is to have friends with such a heart for God and for people! I started by helping to paint the house, but then I became dizzy in the heat (and from climbing up that tall ladder), so we I went to weed the garden. I started to think I was having some problems with heat exhaustion--a thought that was confirmed when this morning's breakfast came back up.
I guess that sausage wanted to say hello to the azalia bush.
After that, I spent most of my time doing little jobs and hanging out in the shade as much as possible. I painted the mailbox! I had a great deal of fun doing that!
Anyway, I tried to go back to Ross House afterward, but I had (still have) a splitting headache. My supervisor sent me home because she's afraid of the possibility of this being more than just heat exhaustion. I am feeling quite useless at the moment.

Exciting news: meeting up with a possible employer tomorrow evening. It sounds promising, and I'm rather excited! I am kind of nervous, like I always get before a big test or something, and would appreciate prayer for calm nerves and wisdom. God knows exactly where He wants me, but I haven't yet figured it out.

I Know Why I Do It

Today I witnessed a breakthrough.

Today a client broke out of the prison of her own physical limitations...and communicated with me.

Global aphasia is such a scary-sounding diagnosis, and it is one that carries the weight of knowing you'll never be the same again. This beautiful woman fell victim to a stroke, rendering her in near-vegetative state and diagnosed with global aphasia. I have had the privilege of working with her for a couple of weeks, with some (though little) progress--until today.

Me: "Do you want a bite to eat?"
She: [reaches out and touches a button on a communication board] "Yes," the board's speaker blares.

She did it at least a dozen more times! And all this time we've been working on getting her to acknowledge the buttons! Today she not only did that, but USED them! Woohoo!

This is so why I do what I do! I seriously had tears in my eyes and engulfed her in a big hug (whether she truly wanted it or not, I don't know for sure, but her huge smile tells me there's a big chance she did).

I have tears in my eyes as I think about it now. How absolutely amazing it is to be able to help someone trapped within themselve to relate to and communicate with the world around them. I am so very glad that God has brought me to this point and continues to shape me into a tool He can use for His work!

Oh, and if anyone is looking for volunteer work, consider a nursing home. These guys are the most precious folks you'll ever meet! Even the hard-nosed, impatient ones have so much good in them--so much need and so much hurt that can be smoothed over with just a smile and understanding nod. My hardest client can be so downright rotten at times in his attitude, but I still love seeing his face every day. He has a lot to offer this world, still, after nearly 80 years. All of them do; they are just waiting for a younger person to come hear them out and pick up their torches. I spent about an hour after therapy let out today with one of my clients, giving her a manicure and a pedicure to cover up the hideous orange paint that she unknowingly paid to have done. Not a second of that time was wasted--we were both blessed with the company. You could, too!

The View from my Front Porch

It just doesn't do justice to the beauty of tonight's sunset. I really need a better view camera.

106. I just love sunsets.

I'd love sunrises, too, if I was awake and outdoors in time to see them. I'm always available for a sunset. :) And it's not just the sky that is so amazing. Something about the lighting at this time of day makes the green of plantlife so vibrant that it pops right out as if to say, "Look at me!" I have noticed that this same thing happens right before a daytime storm. I'm getting chills just thinking about it. Only God could do something so wonderful!

107.  Praising God for a career where I don't feel pressured to suppress my faith.

I was talking with a client today about how intricate and resourceful the brain is--and how unexplainable it is, even after lifetimes of study. I can never talk about nature or anatomy without talking about God, and so the conversation led into how it is impossible to look at the brain alone and not know that God truly does exist, that He is powerful and omniscient. It is too complex to have just developed without the hands of a mastermind...THE Mastermind. I didn't even know if this woman was a Christian, so I probably shouldn't have said all I said (if I wanted to be politically correct) but my higher calling and love is to share Jesus with the world, so I did anyway. She was a Christian and it blessed her soul to hear that testimony.

108. I'm so grateful God chooses to use me, even in the little things!

Someone told me tonight at church that they think I'm sweet and helpful. Well, it's not me who is sweet, but Jesus Christ in me who is working that in my heart. I've got a long way to go before I could ever consider myself "sweet." But it is very nice to know that God used me to bless her.

109. Glad for another job interview set up for next Friday.

And this one is close to home! My advisors say it's difficult to find jobs around here, and they also tell me it is best to have one lined up for graduation. Well, graduation is less than 2 months away, and I don't have one yet. Regardless, I am not going to worry about it. God has been my provider in EVERY situation and somehow I just know He's going to work it out perfectly in His timing! 

110. Comfort in sorrow and strength to overcome.

June is always a difficult month for me as I think back on where I've come from. Four years ago tomorrow marks the day I got married, and three years ago this month also marks the day my husband walked out of my life. I'm so very grateful that God never left me, even when I thought I did not want Him any longer. I'm glad He didn't give up on me! And now I am grateful that He gives me peace over the situation and a hope for a future. He has a purpose and a calling for my life! I pray I never forget what He has brought me through and what He has done for me in those difficult times.

Can't, Never Could

I have been told I can't my entire life.

"You can't make something of yourself out of what you come from."

"You can't know how to have fun if you have your head stuck in a book all the time."

"You can't make it on your own because you don't have any idea about streetsmarts and you've been too sheltered for too long."

"You can't get financial aid that will not only cover your tuition, but also your college and living expenses."

"You can't work and keep your grades up in college, especially as a full-time student."

"You can't be a professional without make-up and the latest clothing style, losing weight, and doing something different with your hair."

"You can't be in graduate school and work full-time..."

"...and you most definitely can't have TWO jobs!"

"You can't get enough clinical hours to graduate unless you start back early and carry through the week of graduation."

There are so many more "cants," but these are the first ones that come to mind. Why do people always want to tell me I can't? I have proved them wrong every single time. I wonder if it is their way of setting the bar high, giving me an expectation to meet and the motivation to make it happen.

I was thinking about this today as I drove home from my clinical practicum site. You know, honestly, they are right. I can't. I never could. But God can and He has always been able. I have never succeeded in proving a "cant" wrong on my own, but only by His grace, mercy, and faithfulness.

I stand here rather excited, to think that God has used all these cants-turned-coulds in my life to show His might and power and love in such a real way.

I can when I'm on His side. He strengthens His own!

Three years ago this week...

...my dreams were crushed. My hopes were stamped out. I was at the darkest place in my life I have ever been.

I was lost, broken, nearly destroyed.

Three years ago this past week, my then-husband walked out the door of our home and never came back.

Oh, to think where God has brought me since that time! I am far from where I need to be, but thankfully I am on the right road--looking toward the mark, running the race set before me with a purpose. God turned to good what was meant for evil. And oh what good He has been!

You are never more aware of the Father's voice than when you most desparately wish to hear it, when you are alone and trembling in the mess of life, and, desiring a way out, cry to the only One who can relieve you of your burden.

And guess what? He's there. His arms are outstretched and waiting. No matter what you've done, no matter what mess you've created out of your life...He's there and He wants to fix it. He wants to turn your life into one that glorifies Him.

I let Him transform me. I let Him work in me a new creature.

And it has been a decision I will never regret.

Thank you, Jesus!

A Summer's Journey

Here I sit on my sofa, enjoying the warmth Stella's underbelly gives off towards my very-cold toes. Yes, the day's temperature was in the upper 90s, but try telling my foot's appendages that. They don't care.

Thankfully, my dog does.

The majority of my family, from Ohio to Arkansas, are getting ready to launch off on an adventure to the beach together. They will enjoy a week of fun in sun and fellowship with one another--so much catching up to be done! I, however, will remain where I am, anchored to this town Monday through Friday for the remainder of the summer by a massive magnetic power I tend to call "THERAPY."

I've never been to the beach.

My "adopted" family here are planning a 2-week trip to South Dakota later this month. AHH! What will I do without them?! Again, I find myself glued to this spot, unmoving, due to this unrelenting force--"THERAPY."

I've never been to Mount Rushmore.

Then again, I wasn't invited on that trip. (chuckling quietly to self) I just thought it would add to the dramatic emotion of the scene.

Regardless of all the fun and memories I won't experience this summer, there are so many more to be made. I am loving my career choice more and more with every passing day--and every sweet smile. I am carried away with compassion for these precious elderly individuals, with stories to be told and lives to be shared.

I may miss out on some exciting trips, but God has given me a journey this summer that I will not regret taking. He has been leading me and teaching me. This speech therapist is speechless when I consider His hand in my life.

Thankful for:
101. A last-minute bible study in my small, perpetually dark living room
102. An opportunity to catch up with classmates over hamburger helper
103. Provision of clinical hours and a peace about meeting the quota for graduation
104. A reminder of God's steadfast, unchanging nature in a world of instability and time of shifting loyalties
105. A make-shift blanket of soft black and white fur with two beautiful eyes...oh! that's my dog! Well, I'm thankful for her, too.

Helping Little Bubz

Yes, I call my brothers "bubz."

And yes, I did help my brother with a school project today. Wanna see?

...

...

...

...

Here's the two of us...exhausted (after putting nearly six hours into the project)!

It's a...longhouse, home of the Iroquois (a native American tribe).

Like the bamboo "corn"? Yeah, it's kind of tall in proportion to the little plastic Indians, but the bigger the better, right?

Of course, the little bubz had to add some mean settlers to fight these peaceful redskins. That's just what boys do!

I'm back home visiting for the week and am having SO MUCH fun! (Except for the weeding Mamaw's yard in the heat, but, hey, it was worth it to see her smile. I'm glad I could help her out).

Thank you, Lord for:

76. Good pizza with great, old friends

77. Quality time with my youngest brother, discovering what a truly amazing young fellow he is becoming

78. Helping me to find humor in a bitter, old man and love him all the more in spite of his shortcomings

79. Safety on my trip to the south.

80. A phone call from a speech therapy company that almost seems too good to be true.

81. The opportunity to get to know the man my mother married and realize mom's in good hands.

82. My mamaw's sweet smile...and wonderful backrubs!

83. Beautiful weather (and company!) at lunchtime on Mother's Day with other friends who didn't have their mothers nearby for the special day

84. "Stump", the first real English bulldog I've ever met. What strange creatures You have made! This one brings smiles, giggles, and light-hearted fun!

85. Air conditioning! How did people ever survive Arkansas' heat without AC?!

(This post was originally posted on Wednesday, May 11th, but for some reason it is saying it posted on May 17th).

Two for One

Thanks
There is so much to be thankful for. I'm glad I know the one true God, the Creator of the universe who breaths life into the lifeless. The God of David, who is still (and always will be) worthy to be praised.

Today I thank Him for:
86. A well-made, hole-free canoe and a good, strong paddle.
87. A bright sun and light breeze.
88. Cold water to refresh tired muscles.
89. Waterproof cameras.
90. A fallen tree that served as a bouncy "ride" for the young at heart.
91. Incredible wildlife, rock formations, and landscape scenery declaring the glory of God.
92. A safe trip in good fellowship.
93. A group of people who care about each other and stick together.
94. Laughter, hugs, water-splashes, and all that goes along with having a good time with friends
95. This breath. And this one. And this one, too...

Canoeing
So many memories were made yesterday! There is nothing like bonding over fresh river water and cold lunches. Okay, so only one person drank the river water, and it wasn't me, but still. Fourteen of us traveled down to the Buffalo for a day of canoeing. We floated somewhere between 9 and 11 miles (I've heard both numbers and am not sure which. It felt more like 3 or 4, but I'll go along with the experts). I learned the art of canoeing. I mean I'm STILL learning the art of canoeing. This was only my second trip. No one flipped their canoe (that I'm aware of). It really was something else. We saw lots of turtles, cranes, herons, hawks, a falcon, and even a bald eagle. Now that is a majestic bird. No wonder the Bald Eagle was chosen as our national bird, our symbol. Just beautiful! I am sunburnt in many places and just a little bit sore in my mid-back...but ready to go back!

"Jesus pets"

These guys never cease to amaze me. I learn something new every day! Today, one of the guys came into the dining area, still sporting his mismatched PJs and unkempt bed hair. A huge grin was plastered across his face. HE: "Guess what? I have a new pet!" ME: "You do?" HE: "Yep. It's a Jesus pet. It's alive like Jesus and He gave it to me." ME: "Really? What is it?" HE: "It's a spider! A BIG ONE!" He wasn't too thrilled to learn that he couldn't keep his grandaddy longlegsas a pet and escorted me to the door. We said our goodbyes as we watched the "Jesus pet" crawl away in the flower bed. I hope this memory lasts until the day I die...a simple reminder that Jesus conquered death and hell that we might live...and that He is the creator of all living things! "...and God saw what He had made, that it was good." **sorry for formatting of this post. Typing from a phone is harder than I thought it would be.**

As the end draws near...

...my memory fades! I cannot believe I failed to write my faithful Monday post again!

So what's the news in the life of a speech pathology graduate student these days? Well, for starters, I'm finishing up some meetings with professors and supervisors to complete "final checkouts" for the spring semester. Then I have *almost* a whole month off.
My last real break for the rest of my life. I've planned one trip home and to Texas to visit a friend, a canoe trip, several doctor's appointments that I've been putting off, and I've even managed to squeeze in a few hours to tackle my growing pile of must-read books. If any time is left available, I will be doing the dreaded, but much-needed "spring cleaning". I plan to scrub my house from floor to ceiling. Yeah, I know, it's going to be an AWESOME break!

I'm psyched about my placement in a nursing home for my final clinical practicum. I think I'm going to learn a lot and have quite a bit of fun doing it. I've tried to convince a few of my clients from this semester to volunteer at the facility I'll be working at so I can still see them. Is that sneaky? Nah, it just gives me hope that our last session wasn't the last time I'd see them. I have a hard time not falling in love with my clients (in a nonromantic-way). They are just incredibly wonderful!

Anyways, so here's the best (so I think) part of my Monday posts, though today it is coming on a Wednesday. It's time to thank the Lord for all the precious blessings He's poured out this week. I don't think I could list them all on a million sheets of paper--for each breath is a blessing in itself, but I will list a few things that stick out in my mind.
Thank you, Lord, for:
71. Flip-flops and glorious weather in which to wear them. God's creation is like medicine to my soul: to be able to sit back and view His handiwork in all its glory, to ponder the minute details and intricate processes going on in every tiny cell of every living thing, to feel the breeze across my face like a gentle kiss from the God of the heavens and the earth...I just really can't explain how I feel when I'm out there. It's like being wrapped in Jesus and feeling His love all over!
72. the high expectations my supervisors have had--for that and their consistent guidance and instruction has helped me become a better clinician and a better servant to use the gifts You have given me to bless others.
73. the rain. I don't think I would appreciate the sunshine quite so much without those stormy days, nor would I be able to enjoy the beauty of plants if that life-giving water never reached their roots.
74. the Word--the bread of life--and Your well of living water springing up within my soul. Sometimes I feel like the psalmist said, as if I am in a dry and barren land where no water is, but if I remember to call out to You, looking to Your word for your reply, fresh, renewing, healing water flows. You give it freely to all who ask. Thank You!
75. Heather and our outing yesterday into the wide world of coffee and fleamarketing. I still can't believe she convinced me to drink that stuff! It wasn't so bad, but next time I think I'll go for something a little less...hmmm...coffee-esque.

Forgetting Things

I forgot to give my dog a bath earlier this week.

After my last session ended tonight, I forgot that it was Thursday--the last day of the clinical semester--and I wouldn't see any of my clients again.

I forgot to do my laundry until today. It was three days overdue.

I forgot to rinse out my tea pitcher. The crazy ants had a hayday once they infested my kitchen sink.

I forgot to ask my landlord who this person was so I could give them the baby formula that was mistakingly placed in my mailbox. The powdery stuff is still sitting on my coffee table.

And, sadly, I forgot to post my Multitude Monday note three days ago.

It's just been one of those weeks. This blog has been neglected for over a week now, so I thought I had better visit. In spite of everything going on, what with the deadly weather and preparing to end the semester, I can still praise God...in everything. He is good!

Thank You, Lord for...
66. Your protection in the midst of the deadly storms.
67. Allowing me to spend time with the Brazeals, even if we were stuck in a smelly basement most of the time and were all busy with schoolwork. Just being there was medicine for my heart. It felt good to not be alone, even when completing mundane tasks. Thank you for my "second family" as well as my first!
68. the opportunity to see that incredible lightning the other night, to give me a glimpse of Your eternal power, might, glory, and purity. Thank you for lighting up the sky up with streaks of lightning going all different directions--at one point looking like a perfect cross. It was a beautiful sight! And, somehow, completely silent. The sound of thunder never came.
69. Thank you for a brother who cares--and for his rarely-spoken words: "I love u sis." Thank you for giving him a desire to go back to school and seek a college degree...to do something better with his life.
70.Thank you for this week! The end of school is in sight!

M-O-N-D-A-Y

Church.

I missed most all of Pastor John's message Sunday morning as I was one of the nursery workers and we had a full house. We had the monitor on so we could watch the service, but with so many sweet babies bouncing around, it was difficult to focus on anything else. I hear it was a wonderful message.

Our Sunday School class studied through two verses (and started a third!). We're nearing the end of Galations now. What a blessing this study has been! Sadly, Ephesians and Galations are two books that seem to be--overlooked--quite often by the faith I grew up around. If everyone could just BEGIN to grasp the beauty of the gospel and Paul's firm stance against infiltration of our own works, what a difference it could make.

What a difference it HAS made in me.

"Doing enough" is something I have always tried to accomplish, but satisfaction has never come. It can't come because I never will be able to "do enough" to earn anything from God. God has torn down some of the enemy's strongholds in my life over the course of this study--lies that crippled my faith.

Freedom.

That is what I feel in my spirit. God has freed me! He's still working through some things, but oh have my eyes been opened! Sometimes I want to just burst out with gratefulness to my peers in class, to share with them what God is doing in me and how He is using them to do so. Sometimes I want to just hug someone neck and tell them thanks for bringing out a point I'd never thought of before, to tell them that pondering it throughout the week had brought me closer to my Father, and I loved them all the more for it.

But I just don't.

I push it off on shyness, but is that it? Now here I go off on a tangent.

Family.

My brother's married. I'll have a new neice or nephew in the Fall. My mom's married. I have only talked to her once...maybe twice unless that one was a dream...since the big news. She seems...sweet, so very sweet. I don't think I've ever seen that side of my mom, but I love it! Once of my sister's is engaged to the father of her two daughters. She is so excited about planning a wedding and texts me pictures of colors all the time. It's kind of fun to see her giddy with joy! Oh, any my grandparents, well they are doing just dandy I think. Any little news I get from them is usually hand squeezed out of Mamaw. She's one of those folks that says everything's fine, but once you talk long enough and ask enough questions, you find out a tornado came through and killed all your friends, your dog died, your Aunt had a baby, and two of your high school teachers won Pulitzer's prizes for some thing or another. I may be exaggerating...a little bit...but just a little. Mamaw always brightens my day and I love talking with her, even if it is just to say, "Hi!" She says Papaw's got a colonoscopy scheduled for tomorrow. My birthday. I wonder if there's any way I could make it to Little Rock to see them before therapy. Mamaw says it wouldn't be possible. They wouldn't be free until after 4--when my days really gets started. :(

Bringing this long section to a close, I want to ask anyone who reads this to pray for one of my sisters. They all need prayer--exceuse me, WE all need prayer--but one of my sisters has left and no one is really sure where she is or what she's doing. Last I'd heard, she'd left her son behind and gone back to a guy she been with before who beat her, abused her, and stalked her--a guy I'd rather not see again. I love this sister so very VERY dearly and I just want her to stay safe. And find Jesus. Only He can fill that void she is trying so desparately to fill.

School.

Two weeks left of therapy at the college clinic. After final reports are completed (due Wednesday), things will start winding down. I'm excited about my placement in a nursing home in the summer, just one more little reminder that I only have 3 months and 22 days left until graduation.

Down Time.

I don't have much of that, or I shouldn't have with all I've got going on in order to prepare the end of the semester, but I am trying to take time out to read the newest Mysterious Benedict Society: The Prisoner's Dilemma. I've really liked this series so far, though I am a little iffy about some of the stuff in this newest book. Yeah, I know they are kids' books, but hey, I don't wanna grow up!

I've also spent some time "organizing". Here's SOME of my therapy materials (not as organized yet as I would like):

And here is my "Prayer door." I put either pictures or reminders up to represent people or situations that I pray for each day.

Thankfulness.

56. Another year.

57. Every one of those people represented in the photo above. 

58. Getting a virus on my little pink netbook. This may seem strange blessing, but a classmate's laptop cable stopped working this weekend, so I was able to bless her with the one for my useless computer until the one she ordered comes in.

59. Passionate Perspectives speakers and the practical and applicable information they share about how to bring the gospel to those who have yet to know Jesus.

60. A saying that crossed my path this week, reminding me of a dear friend: "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and will sing it back to you when you forget the words."

61. Psalm 37, and specifically the beautiful plaque with verse 4 written on it a precious "sister" gave to me for my birthday in rememberance of this Psalm.

62. Health

63. No doctor's bills yet!

64. The news of a friend's pregnancy. What a blessing she and her husband have received!

65. Friends who pray. Friends who love. Friends.

Four more months!

Four months, seven days.

That's all the time left of my "college career." Then I'll be a big girl, a "grown-up," and I'll have to face the real world.

Good news is, I passed my PRAXIS. Just found out today.

Where am I going to go after school? The options are staggering:

Travel therapy?

Where to?

Stay here?

What's available?

What population?

They're all fabulous. Do I have to choose?

What setting?

Schools? Hospitals? Clinics? Nursing facilities? Home/Daycares?

I don't really care about the money, except that I want to pay off my accumulated student loan debt.

I just need direction.

"God, guide me to a decision that will bring you the most glory."

Spring Break

I said I would post later about Spring Break, so here it is...every detail, from the fun and intriguing to the exceedingly mundane:

On Saturday, I went to a Neurological Ranch for school to administer some tests on folks who've had strokes, traumatic brain injuries, or other neuro issues. The grounds of the 400+ acre ranch were breathtakingly beautiful. However, the experience made me realize I don't think I'm cut out to daily work with people who can't inhibit their thoughts.

The Ranch

On Sunday, I enjoyed visiting with some friends from church and basking in the glorious weather on their many patios. We even ate dinner outside--using bar stools as tables! That night, the moon was absolutely stunning in the sky. A kind friend happened to have a camera handy and took a few photos of it as we were both heading to our cars that evening. God's handiwork is magnificent!

While he was snapping these pretty photos (and many more), another friend and I were discussing how we were going to convince her mother to let her spend the day with me without arousing her mother's suspicion. Sneaky us had a plan up our sleeves...

...a plan to aid her father in surprising their mother with a beautiful reception on their 30th wedding anniversary. Their anniversary was the next day--Monday--and not a single plan had been made when this moon's phase was captured shortly before midnight.

With the help of other family members, friends of the family, and a sweet mother and daughter from our church, the reception fell together beautifully just in time for the couple's arrival at the church.

The same kind photographer who caught the moon took these photos. It just seems I don't have a camera on me when I need one most! He even included a video clip from the moments when the lovely bride was "surprised!" However, because I haven't received permission prior to writing this, I have left names out of this story and faces out of the photographs. It was a beautiful, fun night. Worth every second of labor, too! We all went out to the family's home afterward for more fun and fellowship--into the wee hours of Tuesday morning.

Tuesday started with another doctor's appointment to find out if a CT scan was necessary or if I could live without one for now. The meeting lasted only about 10 minutes and it was decided that the strange object in my pelvis showing up on X-Rays doesn't seem to be bothering me right now so I can survive CT Scan-free for the time being. Good news! 

The rest of the day was spent patio-furniture shopping with the family mentioned above (refer to reception story). We spent hours (quite literally) sitting around a table in the Walmart Garden Center chatting while the gentle breeze blew around us. 'Twas nice.

Wednesday wasn't near as eventful. Housework, schoolwork, a quick visit to try out the patio furniture that was chosen, and AWANA with the precious kiddos who were rowdier than usual. I wonder if the break had anything to do with it?

Thursday was not interesting at all. I ran errands all day and read/watched movies all night. I took Stella to have her bush groomed down to a manageable length. This photo was taken on my phone shortly after picking her up Thursday night:

They cut her hair quite badly. Look at the pink patch of completely bare flesh on her chest...whereas there is patches of fur at different lengths all over the rest of her little body.

Friday was grandulous. Is grandulous a word? If not, now it is. Anyway, I spent all morning trying to find someone interested in going to the Museum of Discovery with me (thankfully, the perfect person agreed to go with me this past Tuesday instead). Then I went around town with a very good friend to pick up materials for building a chicken coop at the youth ranch she works at. We bought some chickens before heading back to the ranch. It was so precious to hear those little chirps!
Stella met Glory, my friend's adorable yellow lab pup, and instantly fell in love. They are now best friends. I was too soft-hearted to tell them there will come a time (very soon!) when the can no longer play so rough together due to Glory's rapid growth and many months to go before it peaks.
The rest of the evening was spent getting to know my friend better--and loving every minute of it--as well as discovering that Stella is actually a well-behaved dog and obeys me more than I realized. My only regret from that visit is that it couldn't have been longer, much longer, as I had to get up at 4:30a.m. to head back home. Why?

Because I had to work on Saturday morning, that's why! Regardless of my exhaustion, the day was a good one. I took some of the fellas bowling and realized they bowl a lot better than I do! Well, that's not saying much because I stink at it, but still! I was impressed! It made me itch to go bowling sometime myself. I really need to do that soon. I watched a couple of movies while doing some computer work that night after work.

Sunday was a typical Sunday. I enjoyed meeting with my peers for the Sunday school class, picking back up in Galations chapter 5. You wouldn't believe how long we've been in Galations if I told you. It's a good way to study scripture, though, and I rightly enjoy the pace. We dig much deeper into the Word through this class than any other class I've ever attended. Even Old Testament Survey my freshman year of college wasn't as thought-provoking as this class and I had to write a 9-page paper for it! I learned a lot more about J. Hudson Taylor during service that afternoon and walked away with one particular scenario burned in my memory: the story of Mr. Taylor giving the $50 bill in his pocket--all the money to his name--to a poor man whose wife was dying. In that moment I realized that I don't know if I could trust God in that situation. I want to, I hope I would, but would I? I only pray that my trust in Him will grow stronger--and that I will place complete trust in Him. Perspectives class was back in full swing and the place was more crowded than usual. That's not a bad problem to have! :)

I went home and fell asleep. Thus ended Spring Break 2011...the last one I shall ever experience as a student.

The Crosswalk

I received this via email years ago from a friend back home. I didn't draw this or come up with the important message behind these photos. I'm not sure who is responsible since the references were not included in the email, but I would gladly hug their neck if I knew.

It is true. We should bear the cross that God gives us with contentment, tried and true until the end. God never gives us more than we can carry. Instead, He gives us just what we need.