Choices! Choices! Choices!

Have you ever felt just a little overwhelmed?
Mr. P, one of our leaders in Sunday School class, mentioned one time that when he was moving he asked the Lord to only give him two choices of places to live because he couldn't handle any more. I feel that way right now with job offers. I've only had one possibility (not yet an offer) that just really stands out as something great, but I have so many offers--some folks seem desparate to grab me--but every position I've been offered requires me to move or commute a good ways.
What's so special about me? Why do people seem to want me so bad? And why can nothing come open here? Is that a way of God saying He wants me to move?

I have this wish in the back of my head all the time...a wish that I could hear an audible voice from heaven directing ever decision I have to make. Wouldn't that make it so much easier? I want to be in His perfect will, so what do I do? With all these folks coming at me, I don't know what to choose.

I wanna do what's right. I've tried to take control too many times--and messed it all up. I have a very big choice to make, one that will effect my life greatly. I'm just praying for wisdom and for everything to fall into place like God always does whenever I become anxious. He's just awesome like that!

Oh, and after all that seriousness, my friend Heather over at www.MrsSouthernBride.com has a giveaway going on until July 1st. You have a chance to win some pretty cool stuff  on her blog here. Check it out; you most definitely will not be disappointed!

Reviews & More

After posting yesterday, a sweet friend called and invited me to the movies. We went to see Cars 2 with her brother and two other guy friends, then hung out at Marketplace Grill. It was a very entertaining evening!

So, for all you die-hard Pixar fans, you won't be disappointed. Cars 2 is better than the first, in my opinion. Maybe because Mater has a much bigger role in this one. I LOVED IT! Great humor, good plot, and fantastic portrayal of life lessons about friendship and priorities. The only thing to make note of is there is a lot of action: spy stunts, racing, etc., so if that kind of thing makes you dizzy, I'm giving you fair warning. Definitely a must-see and worth paying theater prices!

I've been here before, but thought I'd write a quick review--just for the fun of it. This place is phenomenal. It's great for casual dining or for those fancy date-nights! I have yet to try anything I didn't like on the menu, and believe me, I've tried a lot. Fun, open atmosphere and friendly staff. It's not a cheap place, but it is worth the money you pay.

I went with a group of 5 and we ordered single servings of several entrees/sides and just shared so we all got to try everything. That's a fun way of eating when you go out with pals!


*And by the way* My interview this evening went very well. I love the place already and am hoping this is where God wants me. The man who interviewed me said he has a few more interviews to conduct and will let me know his decision by July 1st. I pray that God reveals who is right for his position! Oh, and if that person is me, I hope I find a place to move to fairly quickly--as the school year is less than a couple of months away!

New Hair and Other Going-Ons

Going-Ons: new word for "what's happenin'."

Yesterday, I had 10 inches of hair gracefully removed from my head. The results are presented in the photos below:

 

Oh, except right now my hair is poofy with lots of little curls all around my face, kinda like Shirley Temple, just not quite so short. That's what happens to curly-headed folks when they get their hair wet.

Anyways, last night was a once-a-month opportunity that I did not pass up: a chance to visit with dear college/career-aged friends and enjoy a bible study together at the Williamson's place. We kind of focused on realizing that things happen, not because we've been good or bad, but because we live in this world, and we should never forget that God can take anything and turn it for good. We also need to keep in mind that the good may not be visible on this side of heaven, but the reward on the other side will be eternally worth it. The testimonies, discussion, and scripture really blessed my soul. This seems to tie in with some sermons and discussions we've had at church lately.

Isn't it neat how God works?

He knows I sometimes need to hear things several times before it really sinks in, and so He always provides those multiple learning experiences for me. Sometimes it's more than just a lesson--it's the hard stuff. I'm glad He doesn't give up on me!

Today has been a long day. I went to Ross House at 6:00 this morning to cook breakfast and get the guys going for the day, then I left work to head out to Vilonia for a work day at a widow's home. I think she suffered some tornado damage from the April 11th tornado, but was more fortunate than some. I'm very grateful for my friend, Ann, who set up the workday. What a blessing it is to have friends with such a heart for God and for people! I started by helping to paint the house, but then I became dizzy in the heat (and from climbing up that tall ladder), so we I went to weed the garden. I started to think I was having some problems with heat exhaustion--a thought that was confirmed when this morning's breakfast came back up.
I guess that sausage wanted to say hello to the azalia bush.
After that, I spent most of my time doing little jobs and hanging out in the shade as much as possible. I painted the mailbox! I had a great deal of fun doing that!
Anyway, I tried to go back to Ross House afterward, but I had (still have) a splitting headache. My supervisor sent me home because she's afraid of the possibility of this being more than just heat exhaustion. I am feeling quite useless at the moment.

Exciting news: meeting up with a possible employer tomorrow evening. It sounds promising, and I'm rather excited! I am kind of nervous, like I always get before a big test or something, and would appreciate prayer for calm nerves and wisdom. God knows exactly where He wants me, but I haven't yet figured it out.

I Know Why I Do It

Today I witnessed a breakthrough.

Today a client broke out of the prison of her own physical limitations...and communicated with me.

Global aphasia is such a scary-sounding diagnosis, and it is one that carries the weight of knowing you'll never be the same again. This beautiful woman fell victim to a stroke, rendering her in near-vegetative state and diagnosed with global aphasia. I have had the privilege of working with her for a couple of weeks, with some (though little) progress--until today.

Me: "Do you want a bite to eat?"
She: [reaches out and touches a button on a communication board] "Yes," the board's speaker blares.

She did it at least a dozen more times! And all this time we've been working on getting her to acknowledge the buttons! Today she not only did that, but USED them! Woohoo!

This is so why I do what I do! I seriously had tears in my eyes and engulfed her in a big hug (whether she truly wanted it or not, I don't know for sure, but her huge smile tells me there's a big chance she did).

I have tears in my eyes as I think about it now. How absolutely amazing it is to be able to help someone trapped within themselve to relate to and communicate with the world around them. I am so very glad that God has brought me to this point and continues to shape me into a tool He can use for His work!

Oh, and if anyone is looking for volunteer work, consider a nursing home. These guys are the most precious folks you'll ever meet! Even the hard-nosed, impatient ones have so much good in them--so much need and so much hurt that can be smoothed over with just a smile and understanding nod. My hardest client can be so downright rotten at times in his attitude, but I still love seeing his face every day. He has a lot to offer this world, still, after nearly 80 years. All of them do; they are just waiting for a younger person to come hear them out and pick up their torches. I spent about an hour after therapy let out today with one of my clients, giving her a manicure and a pedicure to cover up the hideous orange paint that she unknowingly paid to have done. Not a second of that time was wasted--we were both blessed with the company. You could, too!

Coupons

Everyone I know is going coupon crazy. My supervisor at the nursing home actually gets PAID for her groceries by using coupons. I've never seen "Extreme Couponing," but I've heard enough about it to feel like I have.

So, Tuesday I decided to try and get in on this. I didn't do too shabby, though I'm very far from getting my stuff for free. I spent $35 and saved $29. Then I went to Staples. There I spent $9 and saved $7. Today I went to Walgreens where I spent $8 and saved $14.

hmmm...I think this has revolutionized shopping for me.

The View from my Front Porch

It just doesn't do justice to the beauty of tonight's sunset. I really need a better view camera.

106. I just love sunsets.

I'd love sunrises, too, if I was awake and outdoors in time to see them. I'm always available for a sunset. :) And it's not just the sky that is so amazing. Something about the lighting at this time of day makes the green of plantlife so vibrant that it pops right out as if to say, "Look at me!" I have noticed that this same thing happens right before a daytime storm. I'm getting chills just thinking about it. Only God could do something so wonderful!

107.  Praising God for a career where I don't feel pressured to suppress my faith.

I was talking with a client today about how intricate and resourceful the brain is--and how unexplainable it is, even after lifetimes of study. I can never talk about nature or anatomy without talking about God, and so the conversation led into how it is impossible to look at the brain alone and not know that God truly does exist, that He is powerful and omniscient. It is too complex to have just developed without the hands of a mastermind...THE Mastermind. I didn't even know if this woman was a Christian, so I probably shouldn't have said all I said (if I wanted to be politically correct) but my higher calling and love is to share Jesus with the world, so I did anyway. She was a Christian and it blessed her soul to hear that testimony.

108. I'm so grateful God chooses to use me, even in the little things!

Someone told me tonight at church that they think I'm sweet and helpful. Well, it's not me who is sweet, but Jesus Christ in me who is working that in my heart. I've got a long way to go before I could ever consider myself "sweet." But it is very nice to know that God used me to bless her.

109. Glad for another job interview set up for next Friday.

And this one is close to home! My advisors say it's difficult to find jobs around here, and they also tell me it is best to have one lined up for graduation. Well, graduation is less than 2 months away, and I don't have one yet. Regardless, I am not going to worry about it. God has been my provider in EVERY situation and somehow I just know He's going to work it out perfectly in His timing! 

110. Comfort in sorrow and strength to overcome.

June is always a difficult month for me as I think back on where I've come from. Four years ago tomorrow marks the day I got married, and three years ago this month also marks the day my husband walked out of my life. I'm so very grateful that God never left me, even when I thought I did not want Him any longer. I'm glad He didn't give up on me! And now I am grateful that He gives me peace over the situation and a hope for a future. He has a purpose and a calling for my life! I pray I never forget what He has brought me through and what He has done for me in those difficult times.

Shakespeare at the Park

Saturday night proved quite a treat. I had heard that a local theater group was coming to my town to perform Shakespeare's play, "As You Like It," outdoors at an unbelievably low price: pay what you can.

Being the poor college kid that I am, with an extreme love for theatrical arts, I couldn't say no to this!

I didn't want to go alone, but I had my reserves about inviting others to see Shakespeare. It seems his works leave room for naughty imaginations to go wild these days. I've been to too many of his productions that had been turned, quite practically, inappropriate. Anyways, I decided to invite folks anyway and just hope it stayed true to the plot.

I was not disappointed!

We were all psyched during intermission as we waited in line to get sodas. I just noticed we have two squinty-eyed folks and two bug-eyed ones. Wow. We look like crazy cannibals with our mouths opened, baring our teeth like that. Scary. That's what happens to you when you watch Shakespeare!

During the performance, Orlando came up behind me and taped this piece of "bark" to my forehead proclaiming his love. It had words to the effect of:

"From the Eastern coast to the Western Ind,

No jewel is as precious as fair Rosalind."

'Twas a fun night, even if it was outdoors and slightly humid on a June evening. I'm glad that my friends were able to be there and share in the fun.

My favorite thing about the performance (though it was all fantastical) was the woodland men and shepard boys speaking Shakespeare's lines word for word--with a American southern accent.

"Then I shall be thy feeder and buy it with thine own gold..."

Reminder

My last post serves as a reminder to me because whenever I hear "can't," I automatically start going into stress mode. It's mentioned in the bible many, many times that we shouldn't worry because God will take care of us. Jesus rebuked Martha for worrying about getting everything done rather than focusing on quality time with Him.

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you..."

Anxiety is a very familiar feeling, and one frequent visitor that needs to be barred from my heart. I continue to build my knowledge of scripture to fight against it, and will continue to post reminders to myself. The Word of God really is sharper than a two-edged sword and is the best weapon against temptation.

So with that, I'll call it quits for today and go enjoy a night out with a dear friend.

Can't, Never Could

I have been told I can't my entire life.

"You can't make something of yourself out of what you come from."

"You can't know how to have fun if you have your head stuck in a book all the time."

"You can't make it on your own because you don't have any idea about streetsmarts and you've been too sheltered for too long."

"You can't get financial aid that will not only cover your tuition, but also your college and living expenses."

"You can't work and keep your grades up in college, especially as a full-time student."

"You can't be a professional without make-up and the latest clothing style, losing weight, and doing something different with your hair."

"You can't be in graduate school and work full-time..."

"...and you most definitely can't have TWO jobs!"

"You can't get enough clinical hours to graduate unless you start back early and carry through the week of graduation."

There are so many more "cants," but these are the first ones that come to mind. Why do people always want to tell me I can't? I have proved them wrong every single time. I wonder if it is their way of setting the bar high, giving me an expectation to meet and the motivation to make it happen.

I was thinking about this today as I drove home from my clinical practicum site. You know, honestly, they are right. I can't. I never could. But God can and He has always been able. I have never succeeded in proving a "cant" wrong on my own, but only by His grace, mercy, and faithfulness.

I stand here rather excited, to think that God has used all these cants-turned-coulds in my life to show His might and power and love in such a real way.

I can when I'm on His side. He strengthens His own!

Three years ago this week...

...my dreams were crushed. My hopes were stamped out. I was at the darkest place in my life I have ever been.

I was lost, broken, nearly destroyed.

Three years ago this past week, my then-husband walked out the door of our home and never came back.

Oh, to think where God has brought me since that time! I am far from where I need to be, but thankfully I am on the right road--looking toward the mark, running the race set before me with a purpose. God turned to good what was meant for evil. And oh what good He has been!

You are never more aware of the Father's voice than when you most desparately wish to hear it, when you are alone and trembling in the mess of life, and, desiring a way out, cry to the only One who can relieve you of your burden.

And guess what? He's there. His arms are outstretched and waiting. No matter what you've done, no matter what mess you've created out of your life...He's there and He wants to fix it. He wants to turn your life into one that glorifies Him.

I let Him transform me. I let Him work in me a new creature.

And it has been a decision I will never regret.

Thank you, Jesus!

A Summer's Journey

Here I sit on my sofa, enjoying the warmth Stella's underbelly gives off towards my very-cold toes. Yes, the day's temperature was in the upper 90s, but try telling my foot's appendages that. They don't care.

Thankfully, my dog does.

The majority of my family, from Ohio to Arkansas, are getting ready to launch off on an adventure to the beach together. They will enjoy a week of fun in sun and fellowship with one another--so much catching up to be done! I, however, will remain where I am, anchored to this town Monday through Friday for the remainder of the summer by a massive magnetic power I tend to call "THERAPY."

I've never been to the beach.

My "adopted" family here are planning a 2-week trip to South Dakota later this month. AHH! What will I do without them?! Again, I find myself glued to this spot, unmoving, due to this unrelenting force--"THERAPY."

I've never been to Mount Rushmore.

Then again, I wasn't invited on that trip. (chuckling quietly to self) I just thought it would add to the dramatic emotion of the scene.

Regardless of all the fun and memories I won't experience this summer, there are so many more to be made. I am loving my career choice more and more with every passing day--and every sweet smile. I am carried away with compassion for these precious elderly individuals, with stories to be told and lives to be shared.

I may miss out on some exciting trips, but God has given me a journey this summer that I will not regret taking. He has been leading me and teaching me. This speech therapist is speechless when I consider His hand in my life.

Thankful for:
101. A last-minute bible study in my small, perpetually dark living room
102. An opportunity to catch up with classmates over hamburger helper
103. Provision of clinical hours and a peace about meeting the quota for graduation
104. A reminder of God's steadfast, unchanging nature in a world of instability and time of shifting loyalties
105. A make-shift blanket of soft black and white fur with two beautiful eyes...oh! that's my dog! Well, I'm thankful for her, too.

A Thankful Heart

"I will bless the LORD at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make her boast in the LORD: the humble shall hear thereof, and be glad. O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together." (Psalms 34:1-3)

96. A cancellation that allowed Stella in early for her spaying. It saved her life.
97. A Memorial Day to remember: visiting with a dear friend and meeting an elderly couple in our church who celebrated their 71st wedding anniversary on Wednesday.
98. Two burnt burgers and eight good ones--and four friends to share them with.
99. The return of a precious lady to our facility from her recent visit to the hospital.
100. An opportunity to participate in the women's class at church.

What Really Matters?

The brevity of life has struck me hard today.

I lost a patient.

Two days ago, we played checkers and laughed at how long it had been since she'd played the game. Today my heart aches as I think no one will ever see that beautiful smile and twinkling eyes again on this side of heaven.

What really matters? Do our careers REALLY mean so much that we put the blessings in life to the side?

Is that hour of peace and quite really more important than a day with our energetic little ones?

Is our own comfort and convenience worth making our parents endure the monotony and loneliness of nursing homes during their final days?

I have spent too much of my life being selfish.

It's time I learned what really matters.

I don't think I'm alone.