Math Teacher Under Arrest

Got this email a couple of years ago from a friend who is now deceased. It cracked me up then and continues to bring a smile to my face as I read it now. Thought I'd share it (and store it) here for memory's sake.

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, 'If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.' White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.

It is believed that the Nobel Prize for Physics will follow----

Fleamarkets and Kiddos

Today I found myself enjoying the day browsing fleamarkets with my *absolutely wonderful* friend, Heather. I brought home a stack of goodies: two board games, three kids' books, a set of Spanish/English puzzle cards, and a set of 12 neat little Christmas ornaments depicting the names of Christ. She got a set of 12 (or 16?) drinking jars and a couple of kids' books. What incredible finds! I love fleamarkets!

Speaking of kids (What? I mentioned kids' books, didn't I?), we had our AWANA awards ceremony tonight. I cannot put into words exactly how I felt when those sweet little angels from my group, the Green team, went up to receive their awards. It was something like a sense of pride and overflowing love, joy at knowing the eternal effects this program will have on some of these kids, and humility because of two things: one, God worked through inadequate me this semester to bless these kids and two, it took the dedication of parents and the determination of these kids to get them to where they are--my role as a leader had little to do with their progress throughout the year.

Helping Little Bubz

Yes, I call my brothers "bubz."

And yes, I did help my brother with a school project today. Wanna see?

...

...

...

...

Here's the two of us...exhausted (after putting nearly six hours into the project)!

It's a...longhouse, home of the Iroquois (a native American tribe).

Like the bamboo "corn"? Yeah, it's kind of tall in proportion to the little plastic Indians, but the bigger the better, right?

Of course, the little bubz had to add some mean settlers to fight these peaceful redskins. That's just what boys do!

I'm back home visiting for the week and am having SO MUCH fun! (Except for the weeding Mamaw's yard in the heat, but, hey, it was worth it to see her smile. I'm glad I could help her out).

Thank you, Lord for:

76. Good pizza with great, old friends

77. Quality time with my youngest brother, discovering what a truly amazing young fellow he is becoming

78. Helping me to find humor in a bitter, old man and love him all the more in spite of his shortcomings

79. Safety on my trip to the south.

80. A phone call from a speech therapy company that almost seems too good to be true.

81. The opportunity to get to know the man my mother married and realize mom's in good hands.

82. My mamaw's sweet smile...and wonderful backrubs!

83. Beautiful weather (and company!) at lunchtime on Mother's Day with other friends who didn't have their mothers nearby for the special day

84. "Stump", the first real English bulldog I've ever met. What strange creatures You have made! This one brings smiles, giggles, and light-hearted fun!

85. Air conditioning! How did people ever survive Arkansas' heat without AC?!

(This post was originally posted on Wednesday, May 11th, but for some reason it is saying it posted on May 17th).

Two for One

Thanks
There is so much to be thankful for. I'm glad I know the one true God, the Creator of the universe who breaths life into the lifeless. The God of David, who is still (and always will be) worthy to be praised.

Today I thank Him for:
86. A well-made, hole-free canoe and a good, strong paddle.
87. A bright sun and light breeze.
88. Cold water to refresh tired muscles.
89. Waterproof cameras.
90. A fallen tree that served as a bouncy "ride" for the young at heart.
91. Incredible wildlife, rock formations, and landscape scenery declaring the glory of God.
92. A safe trip in good fellowship.
93. A group of people who care about each other and stick together.
94. Laughter, hugs, water-splashes, and all that goes along with having a good time with friends
95. This breath. And this one. And this one, too...

Canoeing
So many memories were made yesterday! There is nothing like bonding over fresh river water and cold lunches. Okay, so only one person drank the river water, and it wasn't me, but still. Fourteen of us traveled down to the Buffalo for a day of canoeing. We floated somewhere between 9 and 11 miles (I've heard both numbers and am not sure which. It felt more like 3 or 4, but I'll go along with the experts). I learned the art of canoeing. I mean I'm STILL learning the art of canoeing. This was only my second trip. No one flipped their canoe (that I'm aware of). It really was something else. We saw lots of turtles, cranes, herons, hawks, a falcon, and even a bald eagle. Now that is a majestic bird. No wonder the Bald Eagle was chosen as our national bird, our symbol. Just beautiful! I am sunburnt in many places and just a little bit sore in my mid-back...but ready to go back!

Thorns and Roses

I logged on here to write my post about the good things of God, but just as I did, I received a text that has broken my heart into pieces.

My brother had texted shortly before to share the wonderful news that his wife is carrying a boy. I had just shared the news with a dear friend and had no idea that anything could puncture the feeling of excitement and joy my brother's words brought to me...until I received her reply.

"Congratulations -----'s baby boy didn't make it."

A precious, sweet young woman is grieving this morning, her husband by her side I am sure. Their beautiful little blessing was overdue for delivery. He never even took his first breath. I cannot even begin to imagine what they are going through; it must be unbearable. Yet, God will strengthen and comfort His children, as He has done for Mrs. Karen and Mr. Dale. Only He can heal this pain.

I think back to Job and how his unwavering trust in God throughout his own suffering caused him to continue to praise the Lord while losing everything. How could a human be so faithful, so loyal, when facing the pain He faced? He was grounded in Truth, The Lord was the foundation for his soul, and God gave him the strength to walk through it. He didn't have to go alone, even though I'm sure he felt quite alone in his troubles.

I pray they they will draw even closer to their Creator and will allow His grace to be their strength through this very difficult time.

I named this post "Thorns and Roses" to serve as a reminder to me that all things God-given are good and will ultimately work for good in our lives. It's really hard to see the good in the loss of a beautiful rose--a newborn sweetie--but God has a sovereign plan for that sweet, little soul. He completed his work on earth for the Lord, however short, and has been called back to his Eternal Father's bosom. Perhaps someday God's plan will be revealed. And, although the prick of the thorn of death hurts, and must be gouging deep wounds in the hearts of those precious parents, we must remember that God will be glorified in this and He is to be praised even in the midst of the storm.

"Jesus pets"

These guys never cease to amaze me. I learn something new every day! Today, one of the guys came into the dining area, still sporting his mismatched PJs and unkempt bed hair. A huge grin was plastered across his face. HE: "Guess what? I have a new pet!" ME: "You do?" HE: "Yep. It's a Jesus pet. It's alive like Jesus and He gave it to me." ME: "Really? What is it?" HE: "It's a spider! A BIG ONE!" He wasn't too thrilled to learn that he couldn't keep his grandaddy longlegsas a pet and escorted me to the door. We said our goodbyes as we watched the "Jesus pet" crawl away in the flower bed. I hope this memory lasts until the day I die...a simple reminder that Jesus conquered death and hell that we might live...and that He is the creator of all living things! "...and God saw what He had made, that it was good." **sorry for formatting of this post. Typing from a phone is harder than I thought it would be.**

That's what she said.

Me: (leaving Starbucks with Heather) "I guess we are going to this fleamarket over here because I am unconsciously driving that direction."

Heather: "Don't you mean subcionsciously?"

Me: "Umm, yeah...unconcious/subconscious...same thing..."

As the end draws near...

...my memory fades! I cannot believe I failed to write my faithful Monday post again!

So what's the news in the life of a speech pathology graduate student these days? Well, for starters, I'm finishing up some meetings with professors and supervisors to complete "final checkouts" for the spring semester. Then I have *almost* a whole month off.
My last real break for the rest of my life. I've planned one trip home and to Texas to visit a friend, a canoe trip, several doctor's appointments that I've been putting off, and I've even managed to squeeze in a few hours to tackle my growing pile of must-read books. If any time is left available, I will be doing the dreaded, but much-needed "spring cleaning". I plan to scrub my house from floor to ceiling. Yeah, I know, it's going to be an AWESOME break!

I'm psyched about my placement in a nursing home for my final clinical practicum. I think I'm going to learn a lot and have quite a bit of fun doing it. I've tried to convince a few of my clients from this semester to volunteer at the facility I'll be working at so I can still see them. Is that sneaky? Nah, it just gives me hope that our last session wasn't the last time I'd see them. I have a hard time not falling in love with my clients (in a nonromantic-way). They are just incredibly wonderful!

Anyways, so here's the best (so I think) part of my Monday posts, though today it is coming on a Wednesday. It's time to thank the Lord for all the precious blessings He's poured out this week. I don't think I could list them all on a million sheets of paper--for each breath is a blessing in itself, but I will list a few things that stick out in my mind.
Thank you, Lord, for:
71. Flip-flops and glorious weather in which to wear them. God's creation is like medicine to my soul: to be able to sit back and view His handiwork in all its glory, to ponder the minute details and intricate processes going on in every tiny cell of every living thing, to feel the breeze across my face like a gentle kiss from the God of the heavens and the earth...I just really can't explain how I feel when I'm out there. It's like being wrapped in Jesus and feeling His love all over!
72. the high expectations my supervisors have had--for that and their consistent guidance and instruction has helped me become a better clinician and a better servant to use the gifts You have given me to bless others.
73. the rain. I don't think I would appreciate the sunshine quite so much without those stormy days, nor would I be able to enjoy the beauty of plants if that life-giving water never reached their roots.
74. the Word--the bread of life--and Your well of living water springing up within my soul. Sometimes I feel like the psalmist said, as if I am in a dry and barren land where no water is, but if I remember to call out to You, looking to Your word for your reply, fresh, renewing, healing water flows. You give it freely to all who ask. Thank You!
75. Heather and our outing yesterday into the wide world of coffee and fleamarketing. I still can't believe she convinced me to drink that stuff! It wasn't so bad, but next time I think I'll go for something a little less...hmmm...coffee-esque.