Bullet-Style

My day, bullet-style.
* Mid-term grades are in: straight A's
* Fun in the floor hunting for clues and practicing speech
* Exploration of "Why Forest", "When Corner", "Red River", "Blender's Cafe", and "Friendship Theater"
* First encounter with a bilingual speech-language pathologist. Pretty cool.
* Lunch with Heather
* Satisfaction with children's books--finally organized.
* Newly-discovered love for stampers
* Realization that someone stole my markers. Guess they needed them more than I did.
* A statement made during message time by a Sparkie: "I say thank you all the time. I'm a good kid."
* Twitter.
* Blog rounds.
* Chips and salsa.
* Yawn.

The Crosswalk

I received this via email years ago from a friend back home. I didn't draw this or come up with the important message behind these photos. I'm not sure who is responsible since the references were not included in the email, but I would gladly hug their neck if I knew.

It is true. We should bear the cross that God gives us with contentment, tried and true until the end. God never gives us more than we can carry. Instead, He gives us just what we need.

Monday

To show how lost I am, I logged into my blog thinking it was Tuesday. My original title for this post was "Monday on Tuesday" because I truly thought I'd missed the day.

Revelation came as soon as I started to write this post, so thankfully I now know what day it is.

Miscellany Monday
1. Did you know that photos taken using higher shutter speed can capture images in the dark, such as a beautiful full moon, but that the faster speed makes the photo grainy? Neither did I, until a friend tried to explain this phenomenon to me yesterday. I'm one fact smarter, even if I still don't understand the details of it.
2. Chinese restaurants close before church ends on Sunday nights and for some reason no one has thought of the idea of fast-food Chinese in this city. (Either that, or I have yet to discover it.)
3. Jumping jacks don't settle well on upset stomachs. Don't try it at home. Or in public for that matter.
4. Through the Gates of Splendor is a heart-wrenching, life-altering documentary. Watch it.
5. Spring break was wonderful. I took a break from nearly everything. Details coming to later posts.

Multitude Mondays
I thank the Lord for:
31. Three unexpected paychecks that I knew nothing of until Friday.
32. The encouragement of precious friends who are running towards God.
33. A long-awaited call from my brother yesterday.
34. My growing family: a new "stepdad," sister-in-law, neice or nephew on the way, and a soon to be brother-in-law.
35. Stella's health. My poor dog was very sick this weekend. I didn't realize how much I cared about her until I saw her in pain. It feels so good to see her rough-housing like her old self.
36. The memory of a sweet little girl saying, "Look at my cool necklace." [beaming as she holds up a necklace with the name "Jesus" carved in the wooden charm.]
37. Learning how the kingdom of God is like a mustard seed--and how God is changing lives around the world in ways I could never dream!
38. Sweet tea. I drink more of it than I should.
39. The beautiful weather this city was blessed with over spring break.
40. Life. I watched some 2-day old chicks waddle around on Friday and just felt grateful for that moment--one in a million I have every single day--to experience life.

        

He cares

I opened my mailbox a few days ago to find the unexpected.

TWO paychecks that had been lost in the mail, a letter from a previous employer saying I had a paycheck at their facility for pick up as well, and one of my medical bills--that turned out to be MUCH lower than expected.

Wow. I didn't even realize I was missing a paycheck, and one of them was the biggest I've ever received from my current employer..ever.

All I can think about is the sparrow. God loves that little sparrow and cares for all of its needs. He knows when it falls from the sky. Every single one of those tiny birds are known and loved by their Creator.

God says He loves His people much more than that sparrow. He tells us that He will take care of us, just as He does for all of creation. He is to be trusted to meet our needs.

My pastor read some out of the biography of the missionary J. Hudson Taylor in service this morning. One part that stuck out  me was the story of the time this sold-out missionary gave a $50 bill--all the money he had to his name--to a poor man whose wife was very sick. He trusted that God would provide his needs.

This is a lesson that I've heard over and over throughout the years, and God has proven countless times just like the other day. I want to come to a place where I no longer trust in the strength of man, but in the strength of God alone. He will see me through anything.

"Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. " I Peter 5:7

LIFE IS GOD.

That is not a typo.

I was looking at a lighthouse plaque in my kitchen this morning. "Life is good," it said.

I didn't really like that quote so much. I prefer the one that says, "Life is GOD." Because it is.

Every.
Single.
Bit.

He breathed this place into existence, all the beauty of creation came as the simple words left His lips:

"Let there be..."

Except man. He formed us out of the earth to match His image. Yet, in order to become part of the living, God had to breathe the breath of life into our humble vessels of clay.

Life is GOD. In God is LIFE.

John 3:16 says, "For God sent His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have

everlasting life."

He did not come to condemn, but to save. He did not come to tear down, but to build up. He did not come to steal, kill, and destroy. Instead, Jesus came to love, heal, and give LIFE.

I think I'm going to repaint that plaque.

The week has begun

* Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD), galbladder attacks, and heart attacks can present with very similar pain in the chest. That's what brought me to the ER yesterday morning. I woke up thinking I was having a heart attack, but after 5 hours in the hospital, it was concluded that I either have GERD or am having galbladder attacks.
* Potato soup is NOT a clear liquid.
* My sweet friend Heather created a "Pray for Japan" button which you can get here.
* The PRAXIS exam for speech language pathology is not easy. Many of the questions asked contained information that I am quite sure was never covered in the course of my college education.
* Flea markets are wonderful! I found a wrought iron dinner bell with a lighthouse on it for only $7 at a flea market a few weeks ago. Whenever I ring it, Stella will stand completely still and stare at it for 10 minutes. Love it!

  

My blessings list:
21. A church family that prays and cares for its members.
22. A Mamaw and Papaw who are willing to wake up at any hour and pray with a scared girl.
23. A long list of missed calls, sweet voice mails, and loving hugs from friends.
24. Crackers and Gatorade. Means of nourishment that do not cause pain.
25. Visiting minister, Tom Harmon, and his practical knowledge of scripture and life.
26. Soft, off-brand snuggies, and even more thanks for the precious family that gave me one for Christmas.
27. That same family brought tears to my eyes with the kindness they showed to me yesterday, each and every one of them did something special on my behalf--when I am the last person deserving of their sweet kindness. I don't think I could ever thank God enough for them!
28. Getting to go to the CSO performance Saturday night with three gentlemen from Ross house. Even if they were a handful to keep up with, what with cutting in line during intermission, knocking over the punch bowl, pouring juice on the carpet in the foyer, taking pictures and calling people on their cell phones that should have been turned off, and talking out loud to themselves at a normal speech level during the performance. It was still an experience I wouldn't have traded for the world. I sure love those fellas.
29. Getting to know a classmate better on Saturday.
30. Thankful for a nice doctor and nurse at the hospital, and the good news that the pain was NOT my heart!

A Good Day

Today has been a good day. Here's the beauty of it from start to now. Every moment was brimming with goodness! This list is more for my own memory's sake. Someday I will read back over this and reminisce of this good day.
* Wake up to doggy kisses on my hand.
* Contagious smiles from a sweet client.
* Enjoying Wii memory games with said client.
* Encouragement from a supervisor worth a million dollars.
* The relief of printing the last report, knowing I'll have a short break before they are returned for corrections.
* Giggling after the Weekly meeting because I couldn't understand our director's instructions. I finally got it right.
* A cheap lunch at a good place. I was thinking Arby's.
* The smell of sugar cookies in the oven.
* A little girl's face light up when I pulled out an enormous sugar cookie.
* Playing a simple game to win "cookie decor"
* Licking sticky fingers and showing off our goodies around the clinic.
* Reconciliation with a sister I haven't been able to talk to since Christmas.
* Finding out said sister is engaged to be married--to the father of my two precious neices!
* The VERY long delay getting off the exit ramp of the interstate on my way to church, allowing me time to read the material for the lesson--just one more time.
* Sweet faces full of excitement and eagerness to share the Word of God.
* Hugs from little arms.
* Hearing my name 1000 or more times by such strong voices for such little people.
* Watching miniature "statues" outsmart the game director.
* Knowing a prayer was being answered in me as I walked to the front to share the lesson with the kids.
* Little tears pocketing the corner of my eyes as a sweet, tiny girl wrapped her arms around me and whispered so sweetly, "Thank you for your speech."
* Being able to bless a visitor anonymously on his birthday with my little treasure box.
* Chatting with a couple of good friends in the cold wind, but not caring about the weather when in good company.
* Digging through forgotten treasures in a friend's living room while taking a break from schoolwork.
* Taking a deep breath as I hit the "submit" button--30 minutes before the assignment was due.
* Smiling inside and outside as I type up these memories.

You make me smile.

Me: "Did you do anything special on your birthday?"
--: "I go chuch. My cousin go there too."
Me: "That's great, --! Did you learn anything new?"
--: "I got to know God. Yep, God. Do you know God, Miss Kwistina?"
Me: "Why, yes, --, I do."
--: "He's great, Miss Kwistina!"
Me: "Yes, He is. I help teach at my church on Wednesdays."
--: "Weally? You teach kids?"
Me: "Yep!"
--: [big, big, beautiful smile that says it all] "You teach me, too!"

--, you make me smile. Every. single. day.

Thank you, Lord, for the precious people you have allowed to cross my path, especially these young ones with such child-like faith and sweet innocence!

I love my job, even if I don't get paid for it.

Monday Mannerisms

* I decided on a title for my Monday posts from now on by going to dictionary.com and looking up synonyms for "habit." Yeah, I'm not smart enough to do that on my own. I'm thankful for internet resources.

* Yay! I have a new phone! My Mamaw brought me one since the ol' ticker (battery, not heart) gave out on The Vu who had been my constant companion for nearly 2 years. Sad day. Memorial services will be held at noon tomorrow.

* A good friend, MrsSouthernBride, is in Ireland, and I am jealous. Someday I will get to go, though. Someday. I hope she is having a fabulous time there and comes back with lots of stories and photos. I'm sure she is and will.

* I just finished reading a book called, "Same Kind of Different as Me," by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. It's a true story about REAL people and definitely worth the read. It will make you think, pray, and do some self-evaluation.

*  Shopping in Wal-mart last night was bittersweet. I miss my Wal-mart family! There are some new faces--mostly with sour looks on their faces. I guess that's just management's way. I was very sad to see all the changes taking place. 3.5 years dedicated to a place, and in two months they've made it almost unrecognizable. I had trouble finding things. I guess that's just the cutomer's way.

I am so grateful to the Lord for:

11. Waking up to another day.

12. Moist, cool air after a rain reminding me of the cleansing the rain brings to the earth.

13. His protection in all circumstances.

14. Going before me and fighting my battles.

15. Being patient with a slow-learner, continuing to remind me that He is in control and perfectly trustworthy.

16. Sweet babies that slobber while they eat and try to feed you their smashed bread pieces.

17. His provision of circumstances to allow me to attend the Perspectives class and the changes He is working in me through the class.

18. A cold puppy nose nudging me awake from under the covers.

19. The wonderful, spontaneous visit from my grandparents Friday evening.

20. Being bombarded by a dozen little arms, wrapping around my legs and waist, during the greeting time at church Sunday.

Sequel to "A Thinkful Friday"

...or more like a backtrack. Or a translation.

I don't think I explained myself very well. Yet, maybe I did, I haven't gone back over that post. I just wanna be a little more detailed (I like detail), bullet-style.
* God has not shown me a specific place to be. My future is still kind of fuzzy.
* God HAS given me a ministry--through the training He has blessed me with to become a SLP. He has also given me other kinds of training, like how to cook good home-cooking for an army of men, how to care for people with disabilities in all aspects of their lives, and...well, how to change a poopy diaper even counts as training in my book. I still practice every once in a while, trying to weaken my gag reflex. This may actually strengthen it. Anyways, I'm rambling now...so on to more details.
* The part about my desires in the last post, well, what I mean most about that was this: God has not CHANGED my desires, but He has shown me that those desires are given to me--gifts that He can use to bless His people and to bring Him glory. I have often prayed that He would take them from me because it makes life difficult to swallow when you're out on your own and don't want to be. He has given me an answer to WHY He won't take these desires from me. He won't do it because they are necessary in order to be a compassionate, loving, giving servant. They are necessary for selflessness. And, with them left unfulfilled, I am left weaker. This makes Him stronger by shining forth His glory the most. It's not me, it's Him.
* Through all this, He's given me an indescribable peace and contentment with where I am--relationship-wise anyway. I feel like I could be doing more for Him and reaching out more to people around me, so I'm not fully content where I am, with myself. I am not dwelling on wanting a family as much as I used to, though.
* Maybe it'll happen someday, who knows? But God can use me more if I don't have the responsibilities of a wife and mother. I have more time and more freedom to serve now, as a single young lady, than I have at any other point in my life (well, excluding my childhood when the majority of the time was spent exploring the creek or a book about beavers). And, I have more room in my heart to share with those who need...need...REALLY NEED love.

A Thinkful Friday

Yes, I said "thinkful," but you can replace it with "thankful" if you want.
Today was beautiful. I did not catch even a glimpse of the sun for the entirety of the day, but it was still beautiful. Before the rain, the temperature was comfortable and a chilly, breeze occupied the air. I was walking across the college campus with such a light heart, silently talking to God. When I realized that I was feeling so splendidly well, I asked the Lord the dumbest question ever..."why?"

I guess I've always been a little scientific. Forming hypotheses and analyzing everything are two of my favorite pasttimes.

But what a dummy I felt like after that question slipped out of my mind! I answered myself--inwardly, as I always do to keep the general public from knowing the level of my insanity--with, "Duh, Kristina. The weather is nice, you get to be outside, and the best part of all is you have just been enjoying the peace only Jesus can bring!"

He has shown Himself mighty in my life this week. Who am I kidding? He's shown Himself mighty in my life from the moment I took my first breath on that Easter Sunday morning of 1987!

Some of you may know about my past. One thing I've struggled with for a few years is the burning question of the possibility of remarriage. I've never really felt at peace about it, and I really still don't if I actually think about it.  I have dealt with a strong desire to be a mom every time I have seen a little one. I have dealt with the desire to have a second chance to truly love and care for a man, to be his best friend and support system, to help him become his very best for the Lord. I have dealt with the desire to be loved in return, too. I don't really think I've shared this with anyone lately, except maybe my Mamaw, but every time I've found myself dwelling on these thoughts, Pastor's John's words come back to me about how he felt that his desire to be married had become his "god." He felt like everything he did was for that purpose, not for God's kingdom. Thank you, Lord, for bringing that back to my memory. It was like a word from You that helped me fight the self-pity.

I am saying all of this, as personal as it is, because I want to share what God has been doing in my life since I started this Perspectives class. My desires haven't changed, but God has given them a direction that brings Him glory! He has shown me that, yes, as my Father He does want me to be happy, but my happiness is nothing compared to the task of REVEALING HIS GLORY! I want to be a mother--well, why not take that compassion and heart full of love I've been bottling up to the millions of orphans in this world, sharing with them the great news of a Savior who loves them! I want to be needed, to be a support system, to be a best friend--well, there are so many broken hearts, broken families, broken people who need someone, who need a friend, who need Jesus. Could I not pour out my devotion to be there for them in their hour of need? To be my Good Shepard's earthly hugs? I want to be loved in return. Now that one's tougher when I think from the worldly perspective. Many of these people may not love me back. Christ was despised in spite of His good works and unconditional love. God gave me an answer for this, too, though. Something I've known for a long, long time--head knowledge--but He has just applied to my heart so very recently. The answer is this: "You are loved in return. The man you loves you is the King of Kings. He has suffered the unimaginable for you. He is with you ALWAYS. He is faithful. He is true. He is just. He is HOLY."

I don't think I could've asked for a more perfect guy or plan for a future.


P.S. Any young ladies out there who haven't been keeping up with Resolved2Worship's xanga, you need to jump on board. She's been sharing her very long, very beautiful--yet different--love story. It isn't quite completed yet, but is definitely worth the read. If parts of it do not send you to your knees or to the Scriptures, well, then I'll pray for you (lol). Two things she said that stood out to me in one of her posts from her love story are written below. Single ladies, please read and ponder. Store this up in your heart for a time when it may be needed. :)

"Does this guy pull Christ out of me, or does he pull out my flesh?"


“The last thing I want to do is miss what God wants all because I’m focused on what I want. I wonder if all I’ve thought I would want in a man is really just stupid stuff. I wonder if my ideals for what I like in a guy are all just fleshly and not Spirit led at all. I wonder if I’ve fooled myself.”